“Hi can I help?”
It was mid afternoon on Thursday. I was alone in the office as Alex had decided to go shopping for beauty creams and presents. I was hoping to have a lovely peaceful coffee and catch up on some paperwork. So I have to admit I chased her out of the door with a sunny wave saying “don’t rush back, see you soon”. Mistake. Big mistake!
So “Hi can I help” I said. The contact is Claudio who I have heard is a lovely Italian gentleman.
“Vorrei prenotare una ragazza per me e mia moglie oggi alle 18:00.” Ah.
“I’m sorry, I don’t speak Italian. Do you speak any English?” I asked. I know it’s rude and we are all European now but I am a product of 1960s comprehensive education. So languages are not my big thing, though I can get by in Spanish.
“A leeteel” he said.
“ Fantastic how can I help?”
“Weeelll “ he said “eermm vorrei prenotare una ragazza per me e mia moglie oggi alle 18:00”
OK not so good. I mean it doesn’t take a genius to work out that he wants to see a girl at 18:00 but where and for how long? Let’s do the easy bit.
“Who would you like to see I ask?” We have lots of gorgeous ladies so it saves time to start by asking.
He replies almost instantly with “Angela”. Now this would be cool but she hasn’t checked in with her availability today so I am not sure if she is working. Damn. “I need to find out and then I can confirm all of the details” I say, “That make sense?” I add.
A very empathic and enthusiastic “Si!” is his reply.
“OK. I will call you back.
“Quando?” he asks
“5 mins” I say.
“ Noooo” he says “18:00”
Not good. “Ustedes hablan español?”
“Yes a little” he replies. Thank heavens! At least this I should be able to work out.
“Necesito confirmar con ella” (I need to check with her)
“Voy a verla a las 18:00 ( I will see her at 18:00)” he says.
Fuck Fuck Fuck this is not going to plan….
“OK I will text you” I say in my best garbled Spanish.
“Si Si” he says.
For the next few minutes Google translate becomes my new best friend as I try to communicate the details of the booking with him via text. Come back Alex! Alex speaks Italian and has dealt with him before.
I call her with a cry for help “ Please come back now and talk to Claudio!” I cry “I think he thinks Angela is turning up at 18:00 and she is not available and I don’t know how long for or where or what or anything!”
At least I thinks that’s what I said as it was all a little excited. For some reason I hate letting polite and nice clients down in any way. Arseholes give me no stress at all. But if someone is being sweet then my customer service gene kicks into overdrive.
She says she can be back in 15 mins. Thank heavens. I tell Claudio that she will be back to talk to him soon.
Now I have to track down Angela. After a few calls and texts in turns out that she is in hospital with food poisoning. Damn! Even I can’t bring myself to give her a hard time for not telling me. Though secretly I am a little miffed that I’m not the person she calls straight after her emergency contact.
The question then becomes who shall I recommend? Thank God Alex will be back to explain to him that Angela wont be able to make it.
When Alex is back she soothes the international relations and get the all of the details of the booking. I start to make the arrangements.
One of the nice things about running the best escort agency in Ibiza is that we have our choice of great escorts who fit just about every requirement.
Helena she is working today and is very good with languages, though unfortunately not Italian. I call her to check availability and the details. The conversation goes something like this:
“It’s a couple” I say. “OK” she says.
“They want total GFE for both of them” I say. “OK” she says.
” Its two hours” I say. “OK” she says.
“You have to arrive at 6pm” I say. “OK” she says.
”They only speak Italian” I say “OK” she says.
“Oh and they are both in their 70’s” I say. “OK. Any special requirements?” she says
“No” I say. “OK” she says.
I just love working with professionals! They make life so much easier.