I live outside of society and I feel I should revel in this!
What is society anyway? A group of rules; a construct, to which most people conform in order to live a life that others in a similar social group can understand. And a set of “rules” that are commonly adhered to.
Each individual society may have slightly differing viewpoints, but most have common themes that we all mostly respect and understand. Things such as murder and theft are wrong and the support of family and friends are good, for example.
There have always been sub groups of any society that challenge the norm, have slightly different values and may express themselves in different ways through things such as music, dress, sport or educational levels. It has become such a recognised feature in the past few decades that business and the media (are they different things?) identify and label these “tribes” in order to sell merchandise and develop markets such as fashion, new technologies. etc.
I’m not saying that it’s bad. I’m a businesswoman after all! But since Hollywood invented the teenager in the 50s it has become increasingly important to people to know where they fit within their group and within society. What label people identify with (in all senses for you fashionistas out there – oops, another tribe!) has perhaps come to replace the class system, butlers may not be above footmen anymore, but geeks see themselves above jocks and vice versa.
Churchgoers see themselves as a separate group from secular groups, southerners from northerners, capitalists from the Occupy movement, the list is seemingly endless.
But in order to identify as part of a group, there are criteria that have to apply to rule you in or out. You become “we” by following the dress code, having the same stated attitudes and beliefs, behaving in the same way, as the other people in your group. The same applies to society as a whole.
This set of rules and behaviours is then assumed to be universal and judgements passed on other based on that. Americans and Brits are often shocked by the continental European attitude to sex, while continental Europeans are often disgusted by alcohol fueled American and British behaviour and sexual debauchery. And it’s just as well neither of them look too much at the Japanese sexual scene!
This is a vast topic and one in which I only have my own opinions. In no way am I an expert and I don’t really want to be. That’s why I left my academic career behind me! However, it helps to set the scene for when I make the following statement.
I live outside my society and revel in it!
I have no shame about the job I do or the type of business that I run. Far from it, I see it as much the same as any other service industry; client and provider need and fulfilment. Good customer service and supplier relationships are key to what is effect a “time rental business.”
However, the “normal” society that most of us live in today in the western world is based upon Christian philosophies which includes rules that suggest how people should run their sexual lives with long term or even lifetime monogamy being the “ideal” option. Few people realise that this is actually a construct that only came about in the very late 19th and early 20th centuries.
Of course modern families and their values are very much changed even from as little as 50 years ago. I should say at this point I am a traditional girl from a middle class family who wholeheartedly understands and advocates most of the traditional values that are still common today. Thrift, hard work, telling the truth, being good to people and kind to animals. That sort of thing.
However, and I suppose it is a big however, I do not see what business it is of society how you like to express yourself sexuallly, how often and with whom.
Things are changing as new ways of understanding sexuality continue to grow and change. People in their early twenties view sex and gender very differently from when I was young in the 1970s. Yes I am that old…get over it!
So maybe the wider society’s view of selling sexuality directly may change in the foreseeable future. It’s hard to see how it couldn’t when mainstream cultural icons behave more like whores than real whores do!
I am a purveyor of sexual services. Shocking I know!
Of course, legally, I do only arrange for clients to meet providers and then what happens between them is up to them. But lets be honest, it’s all about the “birds and the bees, boy meet girl” etc. I am sure you get the gist. So to be factual I provide the opportunity for sex to occur between consenting adults. Again I know this must be very shocking for some of you. Though the title of the blog and the article might have given you a clue. Again I say get over it!
I love my job. It’s great to see a happy client who has had his needs fulfilled and a happy girl who can provide for her family through sex work. I love and respect all of my ladies I think that they are amazing and do a fantastic job. I also like 90 percent of my clients who are just “joe public” with an “itch to scratch”. No different to a restaurant providing the best food they can to hungry people.
As in any business I do sometimes have clients who want some services we just do not offer and clients who are also rude and obnoxious. But that’s the same anywhere. I actually used to get more hassle and abuse when running a head-hunting firm than I do now!
Also, don’t get me wrong, much as I respect all of the ladies who continue to work with me they are not all “little angels” and, yes some time I do feel like I am herding cats! But that’s the same with any range of suppliers and contractors.
So if I love my job so much why do I not shout from the roof tops what it is I do for a living?
Before I explain here, I just want to add a note that its not because I am some crazed drug dealer, people trafficker or someone so on the edge of society that I would not be understood. It’s definitely none of the above. Hell, I even pay my taxes and am kind to animals and children!
I love what I do, I provide a good service and have happy a “everyone” around me. However, if I were to be open about the fact that I run an escort agency it’s not only me that would be judged. By association, my sassy sexy ladies would be outed. Clients would not feel safe for the same reason and it would certainly be harder to meet them socially. They would fear that through association with me “society” and of course family and friends would judge what they do. The same is true for my friends in Marbella and London too. It’s not just here in Ibiza.
So you tell me, how stupid is this? I have beautiful friends who make a living by offering companionship and, yes, sex. They have families, husbands boyfriends children and pets just like you and me. I have clients who come to us because they feel safe and understood. And they have wives and girlfriends (sometimes both!), jobs, families and car loans and they shop in supermarkets just like everyone else. Are they not part of society? In fact, given the numbers of people involved and the mix of professions and social classes, aren’t they actually a large part of society?
If we are so far out of society where do my ladies and clients come from? The simple answer is that both prostitutes and clients are just like everyone else. You could be sat on the bus next to a working girl and never know. Or chatting with a dad in a playground who an hour before had been entertained to within an inch of his life by a beautiful lady. The stereotypes portrayed by TV and hollywood could not be further from the truth. It’s not all drugs and street corners. But nor is it champagne and Lear jets!
So in terms of broadcasting what I do and who I am, of course I do not want anyone to get hurt unnecessarily but your secrets are yours to keep. We should not be judged because we are party to them.
Who is this society who can judge us so harshly? Are we not simply judging ourselves? Is it because of our own shame that people involved and otherwise are so desperate to cast the first stone?
Are men ashamed of the power that their sex drive and their need for women that they denigrate those who trade on their charm and sexuality?
Are women ashamed of the fact that they have the worrying niggle in the back of their heads about “there but for the grace of god…”? Or do they fear that the women in the business have sex appeal that they don’t? So they get their retaliation in first by denigrating sex workers?
And by the way, “there but for the grace of god…” in many cases is independence, financial security and an amazing lifestyle. So keep your preconceptions to yourself!
So I do revel in what I do. I have no shame about it. If you have any on my behalf then it’s down to your values not mine.
I do revel in the the night-time pursuits and the naughtiness of it all. I revel in the slightly seedy nature of it and the knowing of the secret pastimes that people indulge in. The nudge nudge wink wink of it all. I revel in knowing so much more than I ever hoped about the human condition and its need for sex. I revel in the naughty lingerie and the secret sex toys that are stored in cupboards and bags ready for action. The sites sounds and smells of the sex trade are all familiar to me and I revel in them all.
One final note; I have to say that some of the most well balanced, well maintained and trustworthy people I have ever met work in this business and I proud to know all of them. Yes, I revel in what I do and hope that I can continue to do so for a very long time to come.
So I will continue to keep my secrets so that you can keep yours.