Why is it that some people, who perfectly accept happily the price that designer shops show on the label and who wouldn’t dream of haggling in a restaurant think that it is perfectly fine to try and bid down the fees for a professional escort?

This came to a head in textbook style this weekend in Ibiza. We have a client who is generally lovely when on a booking. He sees the ladies in a lovely penthouse, spends three hours a time with them and they have a super time sunbathing, drinking wine and generally relaxing. He is polite and respectful, pleasant and well turned out. A wonderful time is had by all.

The problem is what happens between bookings. Maybe it´s the fact that he is Norwegian, which adds an extra spice to all his dealings with escorts as it is illegal for any Norwegian citizen to pay for sex anywhere in the world (not that he is doing that with our ladies, we only sell time and companionship…). Anyway, shagging the brains out of girls he meets through us is extra exciting because he knows he is breaking the law.

And that extends to his dealings with us in deciding who to see and trying to negotiate fees. He just doesn´t get a simple rule that we live by; the price is the price. We don´t negotiate on rates. That way madness lies. The only exception is when the booking is very unusual and standard rates wwouldn’t cover it. (Don´t ask!) And this client´s bookings certainly don´t come under that category.

So the preface to every booking with this client is a lengthy WhatsApp discussion about who is available (fair enough) and their respective fees (also fair enough). He then decides to tell us what he is willing to pay.

“Alana and Melissa. I will pay 1,000 for 3 hours. No taxi fee.”

“No. The rate is 1,400 plus 50 taxi.”

“This is an afternoon booking midweek so there won´t be much else happening. Something is better than nothing. 1,000 Euros for 3 hours.”

“No. The rate is 1,400 plus 50 taxi.”

“But you list Melissa as 165 cms and I know she is only 164 cms tall. So I will pay 1,000 Euros for both.”

“No. The rate is 1,400 plus 50 taxi.”

“Well the 1,000 is still on the table. Let me know when you change your mind.”

We then ignore him for a few days and he comes back.

“How much just for Alana?”

“700 Euros plus taxi.”

“And for Melissa?”

“700 Euros plus taxi.”

“So if I book both, you will give me a discount to make it 1,000 Euros and no taxi.”

Now what I want to write is unrepeatable. So I instead say

“No. The rate is 1,400 plus 50 taxi.”

I have tried to explain that the girls are independent contractors who set their own rates and that I am their agent not the employer. But he seems convinced that I can somehow offer him a massive discount on each person´s rates. As though we were dealing with tins of beans rather than people´s time.

Now the interesting thing here is that this client is actually a high-end real estate agent who deals

mainly with summer rentals to the super-rich. Villas at 50,000 Euros a week. That sort of thing. I contacted him once to enquire about a villa and then asked him for a discount because I was going to rent two villas from two different owners and use them at the same time. He was surprisingly unamused.

Anyhow, with this client I´m now reasonable sanguine as he always ends up booking the original girls we discuss and at the original price. But his behaviour is all too typical of a certain type of client.

And it´s bloody annoying to deal with and insulting to the ladies concerned.

Don´t get me wrong, if someone calls and says they’ve taken everything they can out of the cash machine and their friends won´t be returning for hours to borrow from, I will do what I can to help for a few Euros if I believe that they are genuine.

But when someone who wouldn’t dream of haggling as they check in to the Hard Rock hotel decides that the 5 star ladies who work with me are fair game, then my heckles rise!

Luxury goods are luxury goods and they don´t come with built-in discounts. If you can´t afford the game, don´t play. And if your idea of a good time is spending a long time haggling pointlessly, go see the Looky-Looky guys on the beaches. Because I´m certainly not going to play in that mud bath, thank you very much.

To misquote the signs that you used to see in English grocer´s shops “Don´t ask for a discount as being told to bugger off may cause offence.”

Kisses

Ally x

big red lips kissing finger

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