Barcelona & Madrid Sex

If you are a male visiting either Barcelona or Madrid then you are confronted with a vast and bewildering variety of inviting women who are either ostensibly attainable and eager to get laid; or absolutely definitely easily available and all set to have a good time. In the words of Pretty Woman “I appreciate the romance but I am a sure thing.” In brief, players in Barcelona and Madrid possess the choice among thrilling and attractive nonprofessionals or even more desirable and more amazing professionals. Welcome to the realm of skilled courtesans in Madrid & Barcelona.

If a man finds yourself in Madrid or Barcelona and hopes for a seductive encounter, then that is the decision; hope to get lucky with an amateur or choose to look for the hottest escort Madrid will deliver or probably the most fantastic escort Barcelona can produce?

The great feature of prostitutes is certainty. Yes, certainly there is usually the query in the hindpart (or even front end) of the customers mind around whether the hottie is genuinely into them or the number they are doing jointly. However, that concern is always there too actually still in a encounter with an amateur? However, with an escort you are sure that the conclusion is made sure. You are going to get laid if you wish to!

If you are searching for flirtation, companionship or merely a lustful thrill ride then it belongs to probably the most primary evaluations; do you devote precious time, vitality and money in the quest for a rookie girlfriend and gamble on identifying one that is really game for it and a good fuck? What happens if you spend a lot of pounds and cannot get her to the bedroom? More upsetting, perhaps you succeed in tracking down a girlfriend only to locate that she is awful in the sack and a major sex-related dissatisfaction?

Or do you go the alternative path; employ the services of a skilled professional call-girl while you remain in Barcelona or Madrid? It might not have the adventure of the hunt and the promise of long term passion, however it does assure that your hard earned cash is sure to get a result. And you can also guarantee that the woman that you commit funds to invest precious time with is a passionate professional who is going to have the capacity to quake your planet and release your secret appetites– irrespective of how unconventional they may be!

And, within legal limits and the limits of negotiation, virtually every single sensual need or phantasy you may possibly ever have is possible with a professional Madrid escort or a high class Barcelona escort. All the things that you might wake up to on your initial drug and excitement improved early date, or you invest weeks or more gently moving to with a “special lady” are there for the asking with a skilled professional. From probably the most plain of needing to try some brand new sexual positions to men whose fancies are even more peculiar, there is bound to be an avid and proficient specialist only too able to serve!

High Class Barcelona & Madrid Escorts

Morocco is rather lovely and all that, but will primarily ever be a niche area, no matter how successfully the King and his authorities deal with their internal issues.

Turkey experiences near civil war with the Kurds still, is struggling with terrorism and its border with Syria is among the most dangerous sites on planet earth. Oh, and it has recently had a coup attempt by regular army. Who may quite possibly have been less despotic in power than the insane Leader.

The existing vacation and visitor group for destinations such as Barcelona and Madrid are prepared for their trips. They know what they would like and how you can find it. They realise that sexual activity is easily obtainable and totally lawful to both exchange. So if they choose to spend time with the finest escort Barcelona can supply, or pay for an hour or more with the a trio of the very best escorts Madrid can provide, they will do this.

Greece is great if you are unconcerned about whether you will be able to take your money from the cash machines. In the last financial turmoil the banks stopped handing over cash and disabled visa or mastercard structures. Which in turn must have made life a little bit difficult in a country that was dependent on tourists spending their funds (that they withdraw from atm or spend via bank card).

Algeria is excellent if you dream of armed sentinels while you lie on the oceanfront. Which is a good idea as it was not very far back that vacations were assaulted and killed by assault weapon flourishing Muslim terrorists.

The earth is a turbulent place currently. And some of the most unsafe, plagued and unstable places happened, up till rather recently, to be significant vacation areas.

So Spain is doing incredibly well with travel figures now, and no end in sight. Some numbers are referring to a 50% improvement in tourist figures compared to former years. Venues like Barcelona and Madrid are filled with travellers. So you might believe that Barcelona escorts and Madrid escorts might be rushed off their tootsies (Off their beds? You understand what I am getting at …) but that is certainly not really the case.

Egypt is not a place you choose to opt for a calm and pleasant getaway any more. It used to be that snorkelling in the Red Sea was the most unsafe component of your holiday (apart from getting you pockets cracked in the marketplace or your charge card scammed by merchants). Now actually coming to a Egyptian tourist trap is an unsafe excursion that very few individuals wish to suffer through.

France is ostensibly under perpetual assault by locally developed Islamic thugs, including the tragic truck and AK47 assault in Nice not long ago. Hardly productive of to a relaxing respite unless you are lucky enough to vacation with your own protection detachment.

But customers who are used to visiting holiday areas like Turkey and Egypt, and even Tunisia, may well have contrasting presumptions, desires and finances for their leisure time. So the adult game in Spain is not prospering in exactly the way you would assume it as being if you simply scale from traveller quantities.

Want to be an escort in Mayfair?

Your foremost edge, if it applies to you, is the fact of being English. So few in London are English that it eventually becomes a huge sale issue! That applies equally to mature escorts, high class escorts and the mid market. Even more so at the lower end of the market.

Any individual setting foot into any other style of enterprise would do a little bit of study and market place testing to start with, but people just catapult themselves into the sex industry on the assumption that since “sex sells” they will be certain to be able to market their wares and make a huge hunk of cash immediately. Imagine expecting the same way about opening a bar, eatery, shop or something else and you can appreciate how senseless it may be. Guys might always to get their rocks off. But why will these individuals buy it from you rather than someone else? Men also want fast food, but I am uncertain I would desire to set up in opposition to Burger King!

If you go mass market you will be contesting opposed to lots of amazing hotties from east European countries who roost 8 to a bedroom time-sharing bunks in order that they can forward as much hard earned cash to their places of origin as possible. They are also completely happy to make a journey any place in the west end or further afield at no notice at any moment of the day or night and offer an hour of strenuous shagging of any variety you can think of for a hundred pounds for 60 minutes of hard work.

Should you intend to be a high-class Mayfair call-girl, you will be contesting with girls who have the faces and figures of Victoria Secret or FHM models/actresses (or who might perhaps even be Victoria Secret or FHM models/actresses!). You will also be competing with females who are well-versed in several languages (and also the vocabulary of passion!) and who hold PhDs, MBAs, MSc or other post-grad qualifications. Often you will discover every one of this in the shape of one annoying pleasant, pleasant and courteous sex bomb.

That leaves behind the mid market. Which in turn teems with females asking for around 250 pounds a session, which is neat, but much of their business is in calls which involves that you have a bedroom to work from, and that should be rented and that is taken out of your rates. Does it genuinely it need saying that doing business from house is a truly, truly horrible approach?

When I last wrote, I discussed that being a courtesan in Mayfair or anywhere else in London is altogether legitimate so long as there is no people trafficking or coercion associated, just one girl is working from the site, there is no soliciting or publicizing in phone boxes, and also not one other laws are being broken. (Sale of drugs, animal cruelty, under age fornication, money laundering …).

But I was equally explaining that being a London working-girl will require you to take a good long hard view at the realities of what working in the market means. Whether you are a young lady or a mature woman. So if I am not meaning concerns around legitimacy, sexually transmitted diseases etc, what am I referring to? Well the tip-off is in my mention of the word “market”. Promoting sex is a sales service. It is a field like any other. Certainly that the two oldest professions are sex and violence. Warrior and whore.

Also lastly, you have to work out effective ways to manage your cash and banking it. Which means ledgers and accountants. The last thing you really want to do is minimize your earnings to the good people at HMRC. This way you are certain to get a really good screwing. And certainly not in the pretty good or rewarding manner!

Do We Really Need Flirting Coaches?

Sometimes I really do wonder about my fellow humans. Have we reached the point where we actually need to be taught to “person”? Should we be making “to person” a new verb so that we can have lessons in it? What am I talking about? Here is an example.

This article from the Independent was sent to me without comment by a friend. I can see tumblr_nt0d5h91bT1uv5gwjo1_500why. Information about how to make yourself more attractive? Good. Information about the power of sexuality? Good. I loved Honey Money by Catherine Hakim. But this clickbait tosh? Give me strength…

Don’t get me wrong, managing the best Ibiza escort Agency I am thrilled that people don’t know how to hook up properly! My escort girls would probably be a lot less busy if people knew how to get together with the opposite sex in an honest way.

So here is the well-thought through advice in a national British newspaper:

    1. Don’t judge a book by its cover

    2. You only have a certain amount of energy in a situation, don’t use it on being self-conscious

    3. Stay present

    4. Eye contact

    5. Don’t put yourself on a platform to be judged by others

    6. Don’t try and be someone you’re not

    7. You’re not going to match with everyone…

    8. You will be rejected. Accept it

Profound. And also deeply practical. Just ask yourself “How?” to any of those points and expect no answers in the article. Which is one of the many reasons that so called journalism like this annoys me. And they dare to criticise bloggers!tumblr_nsvrchekVy1tiylndo1_500

So, having read the profundity I checked around with my colleagues who run the best escort agency in Marbella and who work with the finest high class London escorts. I also had a chat with my girlfriends who travel as high-class escorts around the world. After all, if anyone knows about flirting, it should be them, surely? Especially the more experienced and mature escorts?

And they all basically had the same advice, which is that flirting is a contact sport. The more contacts you speak with, the better you will get at it. Interact with other people, especially the ones that you want to attract, and keep your senses open to their reactions to what you say, do and how you do those things. The feedback is in their responses.

I can, and will, give much more information in future. But frankly, that advice is so useless and superficial that I now feel like a proper journalist. Hoorah!

Kisses

Ally x

Love Hotels in China

The Guardian has just run an article about China’s new “Love Hotel” industry. Its interesting to see how fast and far the Chinese culture is changing. In 1989 just 15% of Chinese had engaged in sex before marriage, according to state media. Today more than 70% have. Good for them!

The journalist seems to have a couple of slightly strange perceptions though. Apparently the Japanese have more than 30,000 Love Hotels to “to escape the prying eyes of a deeply conservative society” Really? Hentai anyone? They just have really small (normally shared) apartments and tend to live at home until they get married.

I remember that one motel chain that was popular with London escorts in the 1980s used to have nightclubs in all their hotels and the slogan “eat, meet, sleep” on very large signs outside them. Not quite the same thing, but they did rent rooms by the afternoon, so then again maybe it was. I am sure that more mature London escorts will remember them well!

Ibiza escorts car sex

Of course, for girls who escort Ibiza clients pretty much every hotel is a love hotel. And I know the same is true for most women who escort Marbella visitors too! But even case-hardened Ibiza escorts are still amazed by what they see “civilians” getting up to in high-end hotels. You would think nothing would shock a professional Ibiza escort, but they are surprised most days by something that a “normal” person gets up to in the name of love or lust.

Obviously leisure and lifestyle locations such as Ibiza, Marbella and the like are very different to major cities such as London. And Western cultures are distinctly different from Asian. But at the end of the day, people are people and sex is sex. Both people and sex come in every imaginable flavour. And people need somewhere that they can have sex without frightening the horses (as we English say – look it up).

London escorts, Marbella escorts, Ibiza escorts. Young girls, mature women, romantic or lustful. At the end of the day we all have our needs. And whether we meet someone in a Chinese love hotel, or invite an Ibiza escort back to the Hard Rock Hotel, when you get right down to it, its pretty much the same.

Getting back to the Guardian article, I did enjoy the apparently sweet attitude of the owners of businesses that are basically used for people to have recreational sex.

tumblr_nqrwvcDpqp1r0gu56o1_540“Sun also shied away from the label “love hotel” despite having named her chain after 37°2 le Matin, a 1985 erotic movie by French director Jean-Jacques Beineix. “Our hotels should be called lovers’ hotels not love hotels,” she said, adding: “We do not offer any sex toys or these kind of things in the rooms.”

China’s nascent love hotel movement still raises eyebrows in some quarters.

Wang said elderly residents of a community next to a Lots of Love hotel in north-east Beijing had taken exception to a recent advertising campaign that featured the slogan: “Extreme passion, extreme romance!”

“They thought it would mislead their children,” Wang recalled. The slogan was changed.

Despite that setback Wang said the future was bright for China’s fledgling love hotel industry. He boasted that in Tianjin motels had caught on to such an extent that parents were now booking rooms for their children.

Each night queues form at the Lots of Love reception, where affection-starved guests can choose from one of 55 themed bedrooms – including Shakespeare’s Room 204 – on an iMac computer.

Before taking a lift upstairs, visitors peruse a cabinet filled with bottles of 399 yuan ($60) pink lambrusco and packets of instant noodles.

“We provide a romantic place for lovers,” said Wang.”

Awww…

Kisses

Ally x

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Set Up An Escort Agency! It Is Really Simple!

People think that setting up an escort agency is the easiest thing in the world. All you have to do is get a bevy of gorgeous women to trust you, build a website and get it onto the front page of Google and then have clients call you.  Easy.

Riiight.

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Very simple move. When you can do it.

It is certainly a lot easier to start an escort agency business than to start, say, a rival to Mercedes Benz or SpaceX. But that’s not the same as being easy. Setting up an escort agency and being successful requires a combination of brains, balls, money and skills. Obviously the more money you initially have, the less brains and fewer skills you need, because you can hire those in. But surely it must be easy to sell men on the idea of spending time with sexy escorts?

Take each of those three broad stages in turn; getting beautiful escorts to trust you with their reputations and safety, getting a website to the top of the first page on Google, and having clients call and book dates with your new collection of escort girls.

If you say each of them quickly, it doesn’t sound like much. But think about it for a minute and the problems become a little clearer.

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Just walk up and ask if they are hookers. Easy!

Recruiting the right selection of sexy escorts is surely easy? All professional escorts are just in it for the money, so surely they will work for anyone? Well firstly, that’s not true because they are placing their reputations, finances and physical safety into the hands of the escort agency they work with. Secondly, how do you recruit them? You can´t call them because you don’t know them. They wont call you because they don’t know you. And you cant call the ads on the internet or the (in places such as Spain) newspapers because those are mainly placed by rival escort agencies. Hmmm…

Surely getting your new escort agency website to show on Google is easy? Well, leave aside building your site in the first place because that is increasingly easy. And if you build it, Google will find it. But for Google to rank it, the absolute minimum factors they look for are relevance and trust. That means having a minimum number of words (no, I don’t plan on telling you that here!) with a minimum percentage of them exactly the same as the keywords that potential clients search for. And again, I’m not going to tell you what the optimal keyword density is or how to find the most important keywords that clients use when looking for escorts in Marbella, London escorts, whatever. They are all different, by the way. Then, most importantly, you need to prove to Google that your site is trustworthy by getting lots of links (backlinks) to your new London escort agency site from lots of older and highly trusted sites. Just to give you an idea, if you want to market glamorous Marbella escorts you will need to have over 10,000 links into your site to even be in the game. Nice.

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Waiting for your adverts to work

You cannot use Google adwords for your sexy girls in Ibiza or wherever, as Google will not accept advertising for anything that could be sexual services, despite the fact that the internet is essentially a sex delivery system. So, that’s pretty straightforward then.

Now all you have to do is to get clients to trust your new escort agency and make bookings with you. Well what could go wrong with that? Well, if you have an escort agency anywhere other than a small town there is the language barrier. If you have escorts in Marbella, for example, you will get calls in Spanish, English, German, Russian, Swedish, Italian, French…

And you might find that potential clients have some concerns that you need to assuage. Are the escort women in the photos the escort girls that will actually arrive? Are the photos of your sexy escorts real?  Will the Marbella escorts be accompanied by large men who steal your belongings? Are the girls you represent trafficked? Are they underage? Are they professional escorts of their own free will? Are you drug dealers?

The answers, by the way, had better be yes, yes, no, no, no, yes, no. In that order.

And now all you have to do is get the escort girls to the booking, have them get paid, keep them safe, get you commission, pay your taxes and stay 100% within the law. So that’s OK then.

Good luck with all that and I hope to compete with you in the near future.

Kisses

Ally x

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Getting Stabbed In Ibiza Pays Well

24 year old British tourist Grant Sommerville was stabbed by a taxi driver in Ibiza in 2013. It happened in a dispute over a taxi fare. He received 22 staples in his stomach to repair the injuries. And 39,000 euros in compensation from the taxi driver.

The whole story is covered very well here in the Metro. To anyone who knows the lovely island of Ibiza it sounds like an all too familiar story; a gang of drunk young Brits, a stressed, angry and possibly frightened local, and a dispute over not very much money.

Like many taxi drivers in Ibiza, Antonio Mari Planells, aged 31, did exactly the wrong things if de-escalating the problem was his intention. He should have realised that pretty much all Brits assume that everyone overseas is trying to rip them off and will wreak terrible vengeance on them like a Mexican drug cartel given half a chance.

But Mr Sommerville and his friends were probably right in their assumption about being ripped off in this case. Many of our lovely escort girls in Ibiza used to find themselves in the back of a licensed taxi who claimed not to know where the Hard Rock Hotel is (erm, really?) or how to get from Ibiza town to San Antonio in less than an hour.

But my point isn’t that lots of taxi drivers on Ibiza could do with a bit more of the “knowledge” or even Google maps on their phone!

My point is that 39,000 euros in compensation for 22 staples and a terrific battle scar will seem like a fair deal to lots of young British men. On an average Saturday night in any British town there are thousands of men willing to risk a stabbing over a pint of crappy lager.

So, our beautiful escorts will only be using our own drivers from now on. And leaving the taxis to the compensation seeking boys with their hospital beds booked.

Kisses

Ally

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Two Hours In The Life

So what does a couple of hours in my life look like when I’m managing bookings at high season?

Okay, so it’s 3 AM and I’m sat on my bed with the air conditioning going full blast. My desk lamp is on the night table beside me. Also on the night table the pot of Earl Grey tea in a little china teapot with a cup. Under the bed is my small white dog. Sat beside me on the bed is my marmalade cat.

Much more practical than satin

Much more practical than satin

I am not dressed in silky satin lingerie. Instead I’m wearing my daisy duke shorts and a peasant top. My hair is scrunched up in an untidy ponytail and held firmly in place with a pen. My wedge heels are discarded at the foot of the bed. Not the image of a Madam you expected is it?

My night really started about nine in the evening when a gentleman who I’ve spoken with for almost a week came on and asked if we could provide this service in Cairo. As we haven’t booked a girl with him all week and have negotiated price constantly, I told him that as it happens I cannot provide a service in Cairo.

I do try to help out regular customers all around the world as I have contact with escort girls who travel independently and let me know where they are on their travels, other suppliers and other agencies. Frankly I can and am very happy to help out and put beautiful girls and nice gentleman together.

That gentleman was followed by one of my ladies wanting another lady to join her and her personal client (booked directly with her on a regular basis). That doesn’t happen very often but it’s always very flattering when one of your professional escorts trust you enough to ask you to provide another girl to join her in the service.

How I should probably dress to answer the phone in the early hours

How I should probably dress to answer the phone in the early hours

So in the last thirty minutes I arranged for Jessica to turn up. Jessica has long blonde hair, is cute end petite and will do very well besides Julia who is tall and dark. So that is how my evening started a few hours ago and now it’s 3:30 AM and I’m dealing with potential  clients of all nationalities.

I have a couple who only speak Spanish who would like a bisexual lady to join them. A gentleman who speaks Russian (I think) and his message on WhatsApp says that he is looking for a lady that wants to buy a second hand car! Oh the joys of translation software!  It’s all very well if one of the parties is at least using their first language, but when all parties concerned are using the second or third language to try and negotiate a deal you can imagine how complicated it can get.

I have arranged for a lovely gentleman from Denmark to meet a sweet Ibiza escort girl from Brazil and I’m now talking to a gentleman from Qatar and making arrangements for him and his friend from Saudi Arabia. And I am also back chatting to local Spanish gentlemen and a financial services recruitment consultant on holiday from the UK.

It at this point in the evening that I decided that maybe I be better employed in International relations than running an escort business in Ibiza. But maybe it’s all the same thing really. (Fill in your own gag here)

So why do escorts bring together people of all nations and backgrounds?

So why do escorts bring together people of all nations and backgrounds?

If only we all got on so well in other areas of our lives, life would be so much nicer I think.

It seems the gentleman from Qatar would like to see the Russian girl I sent details of and his friend from Saudi Arabia would like to see a hot Spanish chica. So like some large international game of chess, all the pieces are now in play. I do hope it doesn’t turn into a game of snakes and ladders.

Now it’s just after four and I have got another hour or so to take it easy before the early morning rush starts about 5 AM right through to 8 AM. It might just get really busy and that’s when this will turn into something much more like an adrenaline-fuelled version of the 3D chess from Star Trek.

You may of course think this sounds like a wild ride. But this is just another day in the office. I’ve got at least another 61 days just like this before the season ends. I hope they’re all as exciting and interesting as this international game this evening…

So that was a couple of hours in my life and probably not what you expected. I’m going to go and put the kettle on again now. Talk to you all soon.

Kisses

Ally x

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Help! I’ve Run Out of Girls!

It was 5:30 AM and I was stood at my kitchen counter having a glass of wine glass of wine while eating scrambled eggs. My mobile phones were ringing off the hook, I’d been awake for 20 hours and I was not sure whether I was eating breakfast or dinner, so what the hell; wine with eggs.

It is the end of Ramadan, which is also the start of the big work season here in Ibiza. You would think this would be fantastic news; bookings all over the place.

girl in lingerie and coat at hotel door

I really hope this is the right room

However it was 5:30 AM and I had run out of escort girls. I had no escorts in Ibiza to send out on any calls. All of them were working either for me or somebody else, or alternatively they are too tired to get out of bed. Dirty lazy bones!

This business is like that. Feast or famine. Either you have too many beautiful girls or not enough. Today there were too many clients and not enough girls. So I had run out of Ibiza escorts but the calls kept coming and coming. (pun intended!)

I really really hate to have to say no to clients at any time; today or any time of the year. So I did my very best to change bookings around and make sure the right girl got the right guy and attempted to fulfil as many calls as possible.

But it is very frustrating having worked hard all year to generate the enquiries to then end not be able to fulfil them. I’m sure you can understand.

Of course having this number of calls is good news, Running out of girls means I had a lot of girls working. Which means that when I went to bed in the morning at 10 AM I was tired but happy as everybody had a good working day, morning, night, whatever you want to call it and we could all rest knowing that we can do it all again tomorrow.

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This would be a great idea!

I have to say that it can be a very adrenaline fuelled business during the summer. When you get a booking, getting the right girl to the guy in the amount of time specified and making sure everybody is happy and safe is challenging. It probably takes only a maximum of an hour “flash to bang” (pun again intended!) but it’s very intense at the beginning of the call organising the lady to turn up.

Sometimes I need to get girls in Ibiza to gentlemen within 15 or 30 minutes maximum, no matter where the gentleman is. The girls need to arrive on time and ready to go so I probably have 10 to 15 minutes to sort out the right lady, get her dressed in the right way, negotiate the price on both sides, make sure there is safe transport and check on arrival.

It can be demanding and exhausting but it can also be a lot of fun because it’s nice to make everybody happy. Especially when you make a little bit of money along the way.

Kisses

Ally

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What Is It With Some People?

Why is it that some people, who perfectly accept happily the price that designer shops show on the label and who wouldn’t dream of haggling in a restaurant think that it is perfectly fine to try and bid down the fees for a professional escort?

This came to a head in textbook style this weekend in Ibiza. We have a client who is generally lovely when on a booking. He sees the ladies in a lovely penthouse, spends three hours a time with them and they have a super time sunbathing, drinking wine and generally relaxing. He is polite and respectful, pleasant and well turned out. A wonderful time is had by all.

The problem is what happens between bookings. Maybe it´s the fact that he is Norwegian, which adds an extra spice to all his dealings with escorts as it is illegal for any Norwegian citizen to pay for sex anywhere in the world (not that he is doing that with our ladies, we only sell time and companionship…). Anyway, shagging the brains out of girls he meets through us is extra exciting because he knows he is breaking the law.

And that extends to his dealings with us in deciding who to see and trying to negotiate fees. He just doesn´t get a simple rule that we live by; the price is the price. We don´t negotiate on rates. That way madness lies. The only exception is when the booking is very unusual and standard rates wwouldn’t cover it. (Don´t ask!) And this client´s bookings certainly don´t come under that category.

So the preface to every booking with this client is a lengthy WhatsApp discussion about who is available (fair enough) and their respective fees (also fair enough). He then decides to tell us what he is willing to pay.

“Alana and Melissa. I will pay 1,000 for 3 hours. No taxi fee.”

“No. The rate is 1,400 plus 50 taxi.”

“This is an afternoon booking midweek so there won´t be much else happening. Something is better than nothing. 1,000 Euros for 3 hours.”

“No. The rate is 1,400 plus 50 taxi.”

“But you list Melissa as 165 cms and I know she is only 164 cms tall. So I will pay 1,000 Euros for both.”

“No. The rate is 1,400 plus 50 taxi.”

“Well the 1,000 is still on the table. Let me know when you change your mind.”

We then ignore him for a few days and he comes back.

“How much just for Alana?”

“700 Euros plus taxi.”

“And for Melissa?”

“700 Euros plus taxi.”

“So if I book both, you will give me a discount to make it 1,000 Euros and no taxi.”

Now what I want to write is unrepeatable. So I instead say

“No. The rate is 1,400 plus 50 taxi.”

I have tried to explain that the girls are independent contractors who set their own rates and that I am their agent not the employer. But he seems convinced that I can somehow offer him a massive discount on each person´s rates. As though we were dealing with tins of beans rather than people´s time.

Now the interesting thing here is that this client is actually a high-end real estate agent who deals

mainly with summer rentals to the super-rich. Villas at 50,000 Euros a week. That sort of thing. I contacted him once to enquire about a villa and then asked him for a discount because I was going to rent two villas from two different owners and use them at the same time. He was surprisingly unamused.

Anyhow, with this client I´m now reasonable sanguine as he always ends up booking the original girls we discuss and at the original price. But his behaviour is all too typical of a certain type of client.

And it´s bloody annoying to deal with and insulting to the ladies concerned.

Don´t get me wrong, if someone calls and says they’ve taken everything they can out of the cash machine and their friends won´t be returning for hours to borrow from, I will do what I can to help for a few Euros if I believe that they are genuine.

But when someone who wouldn’t dream of haggling as they check in to the Hard Rock hotel decides that the 5 star ladies who work with me are fair game, then my heckles rise!

Luxury goods are luxury goods and they don´t come with built-in discounts. If you can´t afford the game, don´t play. And if your idea of a good time is spending a long time haggling pointlessly, go see the Looky-Looky guys on the beaches. Because I´m certainly not going to play in that mud bath, thank you very much.

To misquote the signs that you used to see in English grocer´s shops “Don´t ask for a discount as being told to bugger off may cause offence.”

Kisses

Ally x

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