London Hotter Than Ibiza

So just because England had a few decent days weather the British newspapers were full of stories about how warm it is and comparing London to various “exotic” locations such as Barcelona, Rome and the Algarve, amongst others. Brits (I speak as one) really cant handle anything other than a vaguely damp time of things.

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You don’t see this in Green Park

But my favourite has to have been “London “hotter than Ibiza”” from the Guardian. Trust me, only in terms of the temperature darlings, only the temperature!

The spring weather may not be the best thing about Ibiza (though it is undoubtedly dramatic) but the sexy Ibiza escort girls are starting to arrive back for the season, so things are definitely hotting up in Ibiza. My Italian lovelies are scheduled to return in a few days and they will definitely drive the temperature up under a few collars!

Ally s Angels Escorts Ibiza looks set for the hottest and best year so far, with the vast majority of the girls that we represented last year returning to work with us again, which is extremely unusual in this business and says all sorts of good things about the team and the way they treated the girls with respects, courtesy, professionalism and a sense of humour last year.

So London and the rest of England has pretty much had its warm spell for the year, though I hope Wimbledon gets good weather as I may visit and nothing is better than paying the price of a house for a small bowl of strawberries and cream while dressed to the nines.

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OMG there’s a cloud!

But while Londoners look back with nostalgia and longing to their weekend of warmth, I am getting ready for both the hot weather and the hot babes and the (hopefully) red hot telephone from all the client calls and bookings!

Its amazing how much goes into getting ready for the season each year. I guess its not that different to the clubs, bars and hotels. The website needs a good dose of cleaning and redecorating; staff need recruiting and training; all the equipment needs checking, replacing or upgrading; and the suppliers have to be arranged and everything agreed. You really can not put a business such as this together on the fly. Well, you can, but that’s when things go wrong.

So all the hard work goes in now to make sure that we have the minimum stress and the maximum fun in the sun. London is hotter than Ibiza? Not if I have anything to do with it.

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Science Analyses The Biggest Relationship Deal-Breakers

Social scientists at Western Sydney University have compiled six studies involving over 6,500 people and their omnibus study has come up with a definitive list of relationship deal breakers for both men and women. The results are excellent and gender-bending to some degree.

Starting with the criteria for a quick shag or one-night stand. That´s easy. The only deal breakers were “smells bad” and “has poor hygiene”- “Basically, for short-term partners, if they have a toothbrush, they’re good to go,” said Gregory Webster, associate professor of social psychology at the University of Florida, to the Wall Street Journal.

Nicely phrased. Yes, every girl who wants to escort Ibiza clients for us or be a Marbella escort needs to carry a toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant and perfume!

brad pitt and angelina jolie dance tango in mr and mrs smithUnsurprisingly women have more criteria than men for breaking up. But the factors that women care about are not those that stereotypes would have us expect. Kindness? Good potential parent? Nope. “No sense of humour”, “bad sex” and “lacks confidence”. Clearly what we want is an Alpha who makes us laugh and come till the windows shatter.

Sounds right.

Men were only more concerned than women about “low libido” and “talks too much”.  Which proves that quantity of sex matters over quality and men are generally less verbal. Shock.

But both genders agreed on the three worst “deal-breakers” – being “disheveled”, “lazy” or “needy”.

Interestingly, that´s exactly the same things that my girls in Ibiza and my escort friends in Marbella find off-putting!

So here is the full list:

1. “Disheveled or unclean appearance”: 71 per cent of women, 63 per cent of men

2. “Lazy”: 72 per cent of women, 60 per cent of men

3. “Too needy”: 69 per cent of women, 57 per cent of men

4. “No sense of humour”: 58 per cent of women, 50 per cent of men

5. “Lives far away”: 47 per cent of women, 51 per cent of mentumblr_n0lkr9HTKU1rfj6pmo1_500

6. “Bad sex”: 50 per cent of women, 44 per cent of men

7. “Lacking self-confidence”: 47 per cent of women, 33 per cent of men

8. “Too much TV or video games”: 41 per cent of women, 25 per cent of men

9. “Low sex drive”: 27 per cent of women, 39 per cent of men

10. “Stubborn”: 34 per cent of women, 32 per cent of men

11. “Talks too much”: 20 per cent of women, 26 per cent of men

12. “Too quiet”: 17 per cent of women, 11 per cent of men

13. “Blunt”: 17 per cent of women, 11 per cent of men

14. “Does not want children”: 15 per cent of women, 13 per cent of men

15. “Has kids”: 12 per cent of women, 14 per cent of men

16. “Too athletic”: 10 per cent of women, 7 per cent of men

17. “Not athletic”: 6 per cent of women, 7 per cent of men.

The take-away from this? Men and women want the same things. Deal with it and move on.

Kisses

Ally x

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Britains Favourite Sex Positions

Ann Summers surveyed 1,000 Britons about their sexual habits and tastes. I´m sure Ms Gold and her lovely team in Croydon (the sex toy capital of the UK!) will be able to put it to extremely good use.

The findings about people´s favourite positions and activities:

The favourite? 25 per cent of people prefer ‘doggy style’ over the other options. Good choice. Excellent for a reach-around to the clitoris. Good for either slow and sensual or a damn good banging. Yummy.

23 per cent of people go for girl on top. The guy gets a great view and the girl gets to control the pace and work her clitoris in whatever way she likes.

21 per cent choose the standard but extremely effective missionary position. I know it sounds boring. But as they say, it depends on how you do it! Lots of possibility for deep wet kisses and eye contact too.

66 per cent of people said they preferred using at least two or three different positions in one session. Hmm…I suspect that might be wishful thinking. But it does say preferred rather than actually achieve!

Over a third of those polled said they manage to have sex two to four times a week, no matter how busy their schedules might be.

24 per cent said they use sex toys. Just as well for Ann Summers I suspect. And I wonder if they interviewed people in their shops, in which case surely it should be higher?

Belfast was classified as the “kinkiest” city. That is on the basis that 12 per cent prefer the ’69’ position. Not quite sure how that counts as kinky. I just think of it as a damn good start.

Leeds was described as the city with the most flexible ladies. Apparently a majority of people that prefer the various ‘legs on shoulder’ positions.

Cardiff on the other hand was thought to be the least adventurous with the missionary position being the most popular there. Maybe they just like to know who they are shagging?

Incidentally, having done a very quick and totally unscientific survey of our escorts in Ibiza and also the lovely Marbella escorts of 2nd Circle Marbella. The findings on positions is apparently about right in their experience. So it´s not just representative of the Brits.

This article in The Independent has a lovely video to go with it!

photo 3 (11)In terms of location, here are the top ten places to have sex:

  1. Bedroom (88 per cent)

  2. In front of the TV (64 per cent)

  3. The shower (49 per cent)

  4. In the bath (34 per cent)

  5. In the kitchen (33 per cent)

  6. On the stairs (24 per cent)

  7. On the beach (22 per cent)

  8. On a night out (20 per cent)

  9. At a park (18 per cent)

  10. At work (13 per cent)

I don´t quite understand how number 8 counts as a location, but anyway…

As far as sexy Ibiza escorts are concerned, this is again about right. And the lovely girls in Marbella say the same. Mainly the bedroom, sitting room and shower. But a surprising number of our girls have actually had sex in the toilets of bars, restaurants and nightclubs. And over half have actually performed or received oral sex under the table in a restaurant. And that´s just in their private lives…

So, whatever your favourites, go to it!

Kisses

Ally x

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What happens when a woman is drunk in public?

When men find a woman drunk and apparently in need of help, what happens? They proposition her, try to get her more drunk, and attempt to trick her back to their hotels rooms.One apparently even tries to get intimate with her in the street!

I don’t often find myself reading The Metro but this article was sent to me and while it staggering, disgusting and shattering to watch it actually happening, it really isn’t surprising.

The experiment was set up and filmed by the Centro Europeo Neurosalus, which is a rehab clinic. It was shot in central Madrid at 5.30 on a weekday. Now I´m sure that some people´s knowing reaction will be “ah…Spanish men” but right at the start of the video it is pointed out that the same experiment has already been conducted in other cities including Los Angeles.

Probably the most shocking thing about the video is that it wasn’t shot on a Saturday night. It is early evening (mid afternoon for the Spanish) on a work day. So what would / does go on every Friday and Saturday night?

This is part of the reason why we take the security of every Ibiza escort so seriously. And I know that our friends who represent escorts in Marbella feel the same. If a “civilian” can be treated like this in the middle of the afternoon in a public square, what might happen to an escort in Ibiza or a beautiful young lady in Marbella while everyone is partying?

So my security team and receptionists are fairly fanatical and puritanical about escorts being drunk or in any other way “worse for wear”. If clients want to drink or let their hair down in whatever way they choose, good for them. But I will not allow the ladies I represent to put themselves in harms way for the sake of having a couple of drinks.

So it sounds a little puritanical and prudish for an escort agency in party-central, but if a girl is drunk or off her game in any way, we will lose a booking rather than send her out there.

Looking at this video, you can see why.

Kisses

Ally x

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We all have a home life…

I was sent a video of a phone sex operator a couple of days ago. And I howled when I saw it.

By the way, subscribe to Jason Horton because the rest are at least as funny.

Anyway it got me thinking (and at the end of a summer in Ibiza that takes some doing!) about the difficulty of working in this business and maintaining a private life. In the interests of full disclosure I should say that I did spend a very brief time as a phone sex operator. I found it just too hard to keep a straight face so i have nothing but respect for the people who can.

The point I wanted to make is that – as you may know – while I really enjoy this life and have nothing but respect for most of the people in it, it can be hard to start and maintain relationships.

This industry is a lot more ethical, honest and straightforward than most of the industries and businesses I have worked in. Things in my past like marketing, recruitment, technology, insurance, advertising. You can see why my skill-set suits this job. And why working with professional escorts in Ibiza is much more honest and less seedy!

Having said that, it can be hard to start a relationship and harder to keep it going. The hours are brutal (Imagine running a club in Ibiza and how hard that is. Now imagine running it 24/7 instead of just at night.). Pretty much everything is short notice, as for some reason more clients in Ibiza than anywhere else need to have company right now. 30 minutes is too long to wait! It´s even more manic than with our lovely girlfriends in Marbella. So that is all stressful.

He says he loves me for my personality

He says he loves me for my personality

But most girls (and guys) in the business make it far more difficult than it needs to be. I know it´s fiction, but the girl in the video has exactly the right idea with her man. Let him know what you´re doing, be honest, involve him where you can and make it funny.

So many girls say that they can´t tell a man what they do when they first meet as they won´t want to date them. It can be a point. But then the same girls are shocked and appalled when they come clean (or get caught) when the relationship gets serious and find that six months of lying your arse off isn´t a terrifically stable foundation.

So if any of my beautiful and (mainly) intelligent escort girls ask me for advice it´s always the same. If you´re not going to front it up right at the start, don´t go more than three dates before you do. And just be straight about it. It´s a job A very well paid one if you´re working with us. You are selling a set of physical and personality attributes and skills. Like an athlete, magician or taxi driver!

So, tell the truth. And if they´re the right guy for the long term they will work out how to deal with it. And if they aren´t they won´t.

Kisses

Ally

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It

Getting Stabbed In Ibiza Pays Well

24 year old British tourist Grant Sommerville was stabbed by a taxi driver in Ibiza in 2013. It happened in a dispute over a taxi fare. He received 22 staples in his stomach to repair the injuries. And 39,000 euros in compensation from the taxi driver.

The whole story is covered very well here in the Metro. To anyone who knows the lovely island of Ibiza it sounds like an all too familiar story; a gang of drunk young Brits, a stressed, angry and possibly frightened local, and a dispute over not very much money.

Like many taxi drivers in Ibiza, Antonio Mari Planells, aged 31, did exactly the wrong things if de-escalating the problem was his intention. He should have realised that pretty much all Brits assume that everyone overseas is trying to rip them off and will wreak terrible vengeance on them like a Mexican drug cartel given half a chance.

But Mr Sommerville and his friends were probably right in their assumption about being ripped off in this case. Many of our lovely escort girls in Ibiza used to find themselves in the back of a licensed taxi who claimed not to know where the Hard Rock Hotel is (erm, really?) or how to get from Ibiza town to San Antonio in less than an hour.

But my point isn’t that lots of taxi drivers on Ibiza could do with a bit more of the “knowledge” or even Google maps on their phone!

My point is that 39,000 euros in compensation for 22 staples and a terrific battle scar will seem like a fair deal to lots of young British men. On an average Saturday night in any British town there are thousands of men willing to risk a stabbing over a pint of crappy lager.

So, our beautiful escorts will only be using our own drivers from now on. And leaving the taxis to the compensation seeking boys with their hospital beds booked.

Kisses

Ally

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Two Hours In The Life

So what does a couple of hours in my life look like when I’m managing bookings at high season?

Okay, so it’s 3 AM and I’m sat on my bed with the air conditioning going full blast. My desk lamp is on the night table beside me. Also on the night table the pot of Earl Grey tea in a little china teapot with a cup. Under the bed is my small white dog. Sat beside me on the bed is my marmalade cat.

Much more practical than satin

Much more practical than satin

I am not dressed in silky satin lingerie. Instead I’m wearing my daisy duke shorts and a peasant top. My hair is scrunched up in an untidy ponytail and held firmly in place with a pen. My wedge heels are discarded at the foot of the bed. Not the image of a Madam you expected is it?

My night really started about nine in the evening when a gentleman who I’ve spoken with for almost a week came on and asked if we could provide this service in Cairo. As we haven’t booked a girl with him all week and have negotiated price constantly, I told him that as it happens I cannot provide a service in Cairo.

I do try to help out regular customers all around the world as I have contact with escort girls who travel independently and let me know where they are on their travels, other suppliers and other agencies. Frankly I can and am very happy to help out and put beautiful girls and nice gentleman together.

That gentleman was followed by one of my ladies wanting another lady to join her and her personal client (booked directly with her on a regular basis). That doesn’t happen very often but it’s always very flattering when one of your professional escorts trust you enough to ask you to provide another girl to join her in the service.

How I should probably dress to answer the phone in the early hours

How I should probably dress to answer the phone in the early hours

So in the last thirty minutes I arranged for Jessica to turn up. Jessica has long blonde hair, is cute end petite and will do very well besides Julia who is tall and dark. So that is how my evening started a few hours ago and now it’s 3:30 AM and I’m dealing with potential  clients of all nationalities.

I have a couple who only speak Spanish who would like a bisexual lady to join them. A gentleman who speaks Russian (I think) and his message on WhatsApp says that he is looking for a lady that wants to buy a second hand car! Oh the joys of translation software!  It’s all very well if one of the parties is at least using their first language, but when all parties concerned are using the second or third language to try and negotiate a deal you can imagine how complicated it can get.

I have arranged for a lovely gentleman from Denmark to meet a sweet Ibiza escort girl from Brazil and I’m now talking to a gentleman from Qatar and making arrangements for him and his friend from Saudi Arabia. And I am also back chatting to local Spanish gentlemen and a financial services recruitment consultant on holiday from the UK.

It at this point in the evening that I decided that maybe I be better employed in International relations than running an escort business in Ibiza. But maybe it’s all the same thing really. (Fill in your own gag here)

So why do escorts bring together people of all nations and backgrounds?

So why do escorts bring together people of all nations and backgrounds?

If only we all got on so well in other areas of our lives, life would be so much nicer I think.

It seems the gentleman from Qatar would like to see the Russian girl I sent details of and his friend from Saudi Arabia would like to see a hot Spanish chica. So like some large international game of chess, all the pieces are now in play. I do hope it doesn’t turn into a game of snakes and ladders.

Now it’s just after four and I have got another hour or so to take it easy before the early morning rush starts about 5 AM right through to 8 AM. It might just get really busy and that’s when this will turn into something much more like an adrenaline-fuelled version of the 3D chess from Star Trek.

You may of course think this sounds like a wild ride. But this is just another day in the office. I’ve got at least another 61 days just like this before the season ends. I hope they’re all as exciting and interesting as this international game this evening…

So that was a couple of hours in my life and probably not what you expected. I’m going to go and put the kettle on again now. Talk to you all soon.

Kisses

Ally x

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