London Hotter Than Ibiza

So just because England had a few decent days weather the British newspapers were full of stories about how warm it is and comparing London to various “exotic” locations such as Barcelona, Rome and the Algarve, amongst others. Brits (I speak as one) really cant handle anything other than a vaguely damp time of things.

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You don’t see this in Green Park

But my favourite has to have been “London “hotter than Ibiza”” from the Guardian. Trust me, only in terms of the temperature darlings, only the temperature!

The spring weather may not be the best thing about Ibiza (though it is undoubtedly dramatic) but the sexy Ibiza escort girls are starting to arrive back for the season, so things are definitely hotting up in Ibiza. My Italian lovelies are scheduled to return in a few days and they will definitely drive the temperature up under a few collars!

Ally s Angels Escorts Ibiza looks set for the hottest and best year so far, with the vast majority of the girls that we represented last year returning to work with us again, which is extremely unusual in this business and says all sorts of good things about the team and the way they treated the girls with respects, courtesy, professionalism and a sense of humour last year.

So London and the rest of England has pretty much had its warm spell for the year, though I hope Wimbledon gets good weather as I may visit and nothing is better than paying the price of a house for a small bowl of strawberries and cream while dressed to the nines.

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OMG there’s a cloud!

But while Londoners look back with nostalgia and longing to their weekend of warmth, I am getting ready for both the hot weather and the hot babes and the (hopefully) red hot telephone from all the client calls and bookings!

Its amazing how much goes into getting ready for the season each year. I guess its not that different to the clubs, bars and hotels. The website needs a good dose of cleaning and redecorating; staff need recruiting and training; all the equipment needs checking, replacing or upgrading; and the suppliers have to be arranged and everything agreed. You really can not put a business such as this together on the fly. Well, you can, but that’s when things go wrong.

So all the hard work goes in now to make sure that we have the minimum stress and the maximum fun in the sun. London is hotter than Ibiza? Not if I have anything to do with it.

Love Hotels in China

The Guardian has just run an article about China’s new “Love Hotel” industry. Its interesting to see how fast and far the Chinese culture is changing. In 1989 just 15% of Chinese had engaged in sex before marriage, according to state media. Today more than 70% have. Good for them!

The journalist seems to have a couple of slightly strange perceptions though. Apparently the Japanese have more than 30,000 Love Hotels to “to escape the prying eyes of a deeply conservative society” Really? Hentai anyone? They just have really small (normally shared) apartments and tend to live at home until they get married.

I remember that one motel chain that was popular with London escorts in the 1980s used to have nightclubs in all their hotels and the slogan “eat, meet, sleep” on very large signs outside them. Not quite the same thing, but they did rent rooms by the afternoon, so then again maybe it was. I am sure that more mature London escorts will remember them well!

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Of course, for girls who escort Ibiza clients pretty much every hotel is a love hotel. And I know the same is true for most women who escort Marbella visitors too! But even case-hardened Ibiza escorts are still amazed by what they see “civilians” getting up to in high-end hotels. You would think nothing would shock a professional Ibiza escort, but they are surprised most days by something that a “normal” person gets up to in the name of love or lust.

Obviously leisure and lifestyle locations such as Ibiza, Marbella and the like are very different to major cities such as London. And Western cultures are distinctly different from Asian. But at the end of the day, people are people and sex is sex. Both people and sex come in every imaginable flavour. And people need somewhere that they can have sex without frightening the horses (as we English say – look it up).

London escorts, Marbella escorts, Ibiza escorts. Young girls, mature women, romantic or lustful. At the end of the day we all have our needs. And whether we meet someone in a Chinese love hotel, or invite an Ibiza escort back to the Hard Rock Hotel, when you get right down to it, its pretty much the same.

Getting back to the Guardian article, I did enjoy the apparently sweet attitude of the owners of businesses that are basically used for people to have recreational sex.

tumblr_nqrwvcDpqp1r0gu56o1_540“Sun also shied away from the label “love hotel” despite having named her chain after 37°2 le Matin, a 1985 erotic movie by French director Jean-Jacques Beineix. “Our hotels should be called lovers’ hotels not love hotels,” she said, adding: “We do not offer any sex toys or these kind of things in the rooms.”

China’s nascent love hotel movement still raises eyebrows in some quarters.

Wang said elderly residents of a community next to a Lots of Love hotel in north-east Beijing had taken exception to a recent advertising campaign that featured the slogan: “Extreme passion, extreme romance!”

“They thought it would mislead their children,” Wang recalled. The slogan was changed.

Despite that setback Wang said the future was bright for China’s fledgling love hotel industry. He boasted that in Tianjin motels had caught on to such an extent that parents were now booking rooms for their children.

Each night queues form at the Lots of Love reception, where affection-starved guests can choose from one of 55 themed bedrooms – including Shakespeare’s Room 204 – on an iMac computer.

Before taking a lift upstairs, visitors peruse a cabinet filled with bottles of 399 yuan ($60) pink lambrusco and packets of instant noodles.

“We provide a romantic place for lovers,” said Wang.”

Awww…

Kisses

Ally x

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Drug dealers advertising

This hysterical article in The Metro was sent to me a few weeks ago. I´ve been thinking about it and I’m still not sure whether to be impressed with the initiative or stunned by the stupidity.

A drug dealer called Jay has been card-dropping business cards around Fallowfield in Manchester to give potential customers his phone number. How do I know he´s a drug dealer? because he has been attaching little samples of weed to the business cards that he leaves.

You see the quandary – impressive initiative and classic marketing. There is nothing like a free sample to build a bit of traction with customers. But  he is doing something illegal and giving the police the means to catch him. Even if they don´t call the number to set up a buy he´d better keep his GPS off!

Don´t get me wrong, I absolutely use card drops to advertise the services of every Ibiza escort I represent. And I know that my friends who manage escorts in Marbella do the same. But what we are doing is totally legal.

So I’m still not sure what I think about Jay and his advertising campaign around the University of

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No free samples

Manchester. Part of me hope he prospers for his initiative and balls, part of me hopes he gets busted for his apparent stupidity. yet another part hopes that students don’t take drugs…riiiight.

In any case, since it´s legal I shall continue advertising my sexy Ibiza escorts and I´m sure the same will be true for all 2nd Circle´s girls in Marbella. And no, there are no free samples!

Kisses

Ally x

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What happens when a woman is drunk in public?

When men find a woman drunk and apparently in need of help, what happens? They proposition her, try to get her more drunk, and attempt to trick her back to their hotels rooms.One apparently even tries to get intimate with her in the street!

I don’t often find myself reading The Metro but this article was sent to me and while it staggering, disgusting and shattering to watch it actually happening, it really isn’t surprising.

The experiment was set up and filmed by the Centro Europeo Neurosalus, which is a rehab clinic. It was shot in central Madrid at 5.30 on a weekday. Now I´m sure that some people´s knowing reaction will be “ah…Spanish men” but right at the start of the video it is pointed out that the same experiment has already been conducted in other cities including Los Angeles.

Probably the most shocking thing about the video is that it wasn’t shot on a Saturday night. It is early evening (mid afternoon for the Spanish) on a work day. So what would / does go on every Friday and Saturday night?

This is part of the reason why we take the security of every Ibiza escort so seriously. And I know that our friends who represent escorts in Marbella feel the same. If a “civilian” can be treated like this in the middle of the afternoon in a public square, what might happen to an escort in Ibiza or a beautiful young lady in Marbella while everyone is partying?

So my security team and receptionists are fairly fanatical and puritanical about escorts being drunk or in any other way “worse for wear”. If clients want to drink or let their hair down in whatever way they choose, good for them. But I will not allow the ladies I represent to put themselves in harms way for the sake of having a couple of drinks.

So it sounds a little puritanical and prudish for an escort agency in party-central, but if a girl is drunk or off her game in any way, we will lose a booking rather than send her out there.

Looking at this video, you can see why.

Kisses

Ally x

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Two Hours In The Life

So what does a couple of hours in my life look like when I’m managing bookings at high season?

Okay, so it’s 3 AM and I’m sat on my bed with the air conditioning going full blast. My desk lamp is on the night table beside me. Also on the night table the pot of Earl Grey tea in a little china teapot with a cup. Under the bed is my small white dog. Sat beside me on the bed is my marmalade cat.

Much more practical than satin

Much more practical than satin

I am not dressed in silky satin lingerie. Instead I’m wearing my daisy duke shorts and a peasant top. My hair is scrunched up in an untidy ponytail and held firmly in place with a pen. My wedge heels are discarded at the foot of the bed. Not the image of a Madam you expected is it?

My night really started about nine in the evening when a gentleman who I’ve spoken with for almost a week came on and asked if we could provide this service in Cairo. As we haven’t booked a girl with him all week and have negotiated price constantly, I told him that as it happens I cannot provide a service in Cairo.

I do try to help out regular customers all around the world as I have contact with escort girls who travel independently and let me know where they are on their travels, other suppliers and other agencies. Frankly I can and am very happy to help out and put beautiful girls and nice gentleman together.

That gentleman was followed by one of my ladies wanting another lady to join her and her personal client (booked directly with her on a regular basis). That doesn’t happen very often but it’s always very flattering when one of your professional escorts trust you enough to ask you to provide another girl to join her in the service.

How I should probably dress to answer the phone in the early hours

How I should probably dress to answer the phone in the early hours

So in the last thirty minutes I arranged for Jessica to turn up. Jessica has long blonde hair, is cute end petite and will do very well besides Julia who is tall and dark. So that is how my evening started a few hours ago and now it’s 3:30 AM and I’m dealing with potential  clients of all nationalities.

I have a couple who only speak Spanish who would like a bisexual lady to join them. A gentleman who speaks Russian (I think) and his message on WhatsApp says that he is looking for a lady that wants to buy a second hand car! Oh the joys of translation software!  It’s all very well if one of the parties is at least using their first language, but when all parties concerned are using the second or third language to try and negotiate a deal you can imagine how complicated it can get.

I have arranged for a lovely gentleman from Denmark to meet a sweet Ibiza escort girl from Brazil and I’m now talking to a gentleman from Qatar and making arrangements for him and his friend from Saudi Arabia. And I am also back chatting to local Spanish gentlemen and a financial services recruitment consultant on holiday from the UK.

It at this point in the evening that I decided that maybe I be better employed in International relations than running an escort business in Ibiza. But maybe it’s all the same thing really. (Fill in your own gag here)

So why do escorts bring together people of all nations and backgrounds?

So why do escorts bring together people of all nations and backgrounds?

If only we all got on so well in other areas of our lives, life would be so much nicer I think.

It seems the gentleman from Qatar would like to see the Russian girl I sent details of and his friend from Saudi Arabia would like to see a hot Spanish chica. So like some large international game of chess, all the pieces are now in play. I do hope it doesn’t turn into a game of snakes and ladders.

Now it’s just after four and I have got another hour or so to take it easy before the early morning rush starts about 5 AM right through to 8 AM. It might just get really busy and that’s when this will turn into something much more like an adrenaline-fuelled version of the 3D chess from Star Trek.

You may of course think this sounds like a wild ride. But this is just another day in the office. I’ve got at least another 61 days just like this before the season ends. I hope they’re all as exciting and interesting as this international game this evening…

So that was a couple of hours in my life and probably not what you expected. I’m going to go and put the kettle on again now. Talk to you all soon.

Kisses

Ally x

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Help! I’ve Run Out of Girls!

It was 5:30 AM and I was stood at my kitchen counter having a glass of wine glass of wine while eating scrambled eggs. My mobile phones were ringing off the hook, I’d been awake for 20 hours and I was not sure whether I was eating breakfast or dinner, so what the hell; wine with eggs.

It is the end of Ramadan, which is also the start of the big work season here in Ibiza. You would think this would be fantastic news; bookings all over the place.

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I really hope this is the right room

However it was 5:30 AM and I had run out of escort girls. I had no escorts in Ibiza to send out on any calls. All of them were working either for me or somebody else, or alternatively they are too tired to get out of bed. Dirty lazy bones!

This business is like that. Feast or famine. Either you have too many beautiful girls or not enough. Today there were too many clients and not enough girls. So I had run out of Ibiza escorts but the calls kept coming and coming. (pun intended!)

I really really hate to have to say no to clients at any time; today or any time of the year. So I did my very best to change bookings around and make sure the right girl got the right guy and attempted to fulfil as many calls as possible.

But it is very frustrating having worked hard all year to generate the enquiries to then end not be able to fulfil them. I’m sure you can understand.

Of course having this number of calls is good news, Running out of girls means I had a lot of girls working. Which means that when I went to bed in the morning at 10 AM I was tired but happy as everybody had a good working day, morning, night, whatever you want to call it and we could all rest knowing that we can do it all again tomorrow.

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This would be a great idea!

I have to say that it can be a very adrenaline fuelled business during the summer. When you get a booking, getting the right girl to the guy in the amount of time specified and making sure everybody is happy and safe is challenging. It probably takes only a maximum of an hour “flash to bang” (pun again intended!) but it’s very intense at the beginning of the call organising the lady to turn up.

Sometimes I need to get girls in Ibiza to gentlemen within 15 or 30 minutes maximum, no matter where the gentleman is. The girls need to arrive on time and ready to go so I probably have 10 to 15 minutes to sort out the right lady, get her dressed in the right way, negotiate the price on both sides, make sure there is safe transport and check on arrival.

It can be demanding and exhausting but it can also be a lot of fun because it’s nice to make everybody happy. Especially when you make a little bit of money along the way.

Kisses

Ally

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Living My Childhood Fantasy

I am reliving my childhood.

I´ve spent the last couple of days re-reading a couple of the Modesty Blaise books written by Peter O’Donnell. Oh. My. God! The nostalgia! Actually, they hold up surprisingly well. A few technology issues (short wave radio anyone?) and I wish there wasn’t the silly stuff with characters with ESP, but that´s like wishing that the villain in a James Bond movie would just shoot Bond in the head…

For those that don´t know, Modesty Blaise started out as a cartoon strip in The Standard in 1964. It then became a series of 13 books that I devoured rapidly and repeatedly as a child. I didn’t care that it was nonsense or pulp fiction. I just loved them!

Modesty Blaise is a heroine with no super-powers other than her intelligence and an extremely well-trained body. Her side-kick and assistant is Willie Garvin (who is saved by her more than he does the saving). It is an incredibly feminist set of stories even characters even now. In the 1960s it must have been revolutionary.

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Modesty Blaise and Willie Garvin (though Willie can’t handle a handgun!)

There was an appalling film made in the 1960s that I try not to think about, mainly because Modesty was just a helpless little sex-bomb saved all the time by Terence Stamp. The last part of that premise is OK, but the first is too insulting. Tarantino scripted an amazingly low-budget film for Harvey Weinstein´s company about a decade ago so that Weinstein could retain the movie rights (there was a use it or lose it clause in the contract) that was better, but there´s a limit to what you can do with five actors, two weeks and about 20 grand. Tarantino keeps saying he plans to make a Modesty Blaise film. That could be interesting…

Modesty is described as tall and brunette, slim but with curves. Willie Garvin is just over 6 foot, blonde and very well built. Basically Brad and Angelina. Annoyingly, now that I am re-reading the books that is what they look like in my head.

They set up and ran a criminal organisation based in the Mediterranean called The Network. Once she had made enough money they both retired and passed the franchises on to her management. And that´s where the books begin as she is recruited to do a job for the bowler hatted head of British Intelligence. So 1960s! So perfect!

When I was growing up I so wanted to be Modesty that it was almost painful. Or failing that, Willie Garvin with his twin throwing knives, cool attitude and loyalty.

Modesty always had the most interesting lovers and Willie had an amazing array of gorgeous women.

They get themselves into exciting capers and laugh their way through them, no matter what the dangers or the odds. Modesty and Willie are always prepared, always one step ahead because of their brains and planning. It doesn’t matter what gets thrown at them, they know they will get through it as long as they stick together and use their skills.

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Modesty & Willie would only do this as a smokescreen

Karate, knife-throwing, scuba diving, kayaking, fencing, shooting with pistols and handguns (she with the former he with the latter) it was so exciting and unknown for a girl growing up in the North of England. And the locations! They didn’t just do the obvious James Bond ones. They might be diving for pearls in Panama or digging up semi-precious stones in Bolivia!

It wasn’t Bruce Lee that got me interested in martial arts, it was Modesty Blaise. And what made me want to excel at school wasn’t going to university; it was being able to know the things she did and to be able to talk like her. I had forgotten all this until I started re-reading the trashy little books that have now been re-published (but not for Kindle, sadly!)

Modesty Blaise was my inspiration as a kid. Her intelligence, independence, skills and lifestyle were everything I ever wanted but could see no way to ever achieve. I wanted to be her, to do those things, have those friends and go to those places.

But things move on and life gets in the way. I hadn’t even thought about the books for years until I happened across them in a second hand bookshop near my place in the hills. I grew up and forgot about what a once wanted to be and do.

And so here I am, a slim brunette with curves running what people regard as a criminal organisation based in the Mediterranean with my loyal and highly capable male sidekick permanently by my side.

Funny old world.

Kisses

Ally x

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What Is It With Some People?

Why is it that some people, who perfectly accept happily the price that designer shops show on the label and who wouldn’t dream of haggling in a restaurant think that it is perfectly fine to try and bid down the fees for a professional escort?

This came to a head in textbook style this weekend in Ibiza. We have a client who is generally lovely when on a booking. He sees the ladies in a lovely penthouse, spends three hours a time with them and they have a super time sunbathing, drinking wine and generally relaxing. He is polite and respectful, pleasant and well turned out. A wonderful time is had by all.

The problem is what happens between bookings. Maybe it´s the fact that he is Norwegian, which adds an extra spice to all his dealings with escorts as it is illegal for any Norwegian citizen to pay for sex anywhere in the world (not that he is doing that with our ladies, we only sell time and companionship…). Anyway, shagging the brains out of girls he meets through us is extra exciting because he knows he is breaking the law.

And that extends to his dealings with us in deciding who to see and trying to negotiate fees. He just doesn´t get a simple rule that we live by; the price is the price. We don´t negotiate on rates. That way madness lies. The only exception is when the booking is very unusual and standard rates wwouldn’t cover it. (Don´t ask!) And this client´s bookings certainly don´t come under that category.

So the preface to every booking with this client is a lengthy WhatsApp discussion about who is available (fair enough) and their respective fees (also fair enough). He then decides to tell us what he is willing to pay.

“Alana and Melissa. I will pay 1,000 for 3 hours. No taxi fee.”

“No. The rate is 1,400 plus 50 taxi.”

“This is an afternoon booking midweek so there won´t be much else happening. Something is better than nothing. 1,000 Euros for 3 hours.”

“No. The rate is 1,400 plus 50 taxi.”

“But you list Melissa as 165 cms and I know she is only 164 cms tall. So I will pay 1,000 Euros for both.”

“No. The rate is 1,400 plus 50 taxi.”

“Well the 1,000 is still on the table. Let me know when you change your mind.”

We then ignore him for a few days and he comes back.

“How much just for Alana?”

“700 Euros plus taxi.”

“And for Melissa?”

“700 Euros plus taxi.”

“So if I book both, you will give me a discount to make it 1,000 Euros and no taxi.”

Now what I want to write is unrepeatable. So I instead say

“No. The rate is 1,400 plus 50 taxi.”

I have tried to explain that the girls are independent contractors who set their own rates and that I am their agent not the employer. But he seems convinced that I can somehow offer him a massive discount on each person´s rates. As though we were dealing with tins of beans rather than people´s time.

Now the interesting thing here is that this client is actually a high-end real estate agent who deals

mainly with summer rentals to the super-rich. Villas at 50,000 Euros a week. That sort of thing. I contacted him once to enquire about a villa and then asked him for a discount because I was going to rent two villas from two different owners and use them at the same time. He was surprisingly unamused.

Anyhow, with this client I´m now reasonable sanguine as he always ends up booking the original girls we discuss and at the original price. But his behaviour is all too typical of a certain type of client.

And it´s bloody annoying to deal with and insulting to the ladies concerned.

Don´t get me wrong, if someone calls and says they’ve taken everything they can out of the cash machine and their friends won´t be returning for hours to borrow from, I will do what I can to help for a few Euros if I believe that they are genuine.

But when someone who wouldn’t dream of haggling as they check in to the Hard Rock hotel decides that the 5 star ladies who work with me are fair game, then my heckles rise!

Luxury goods are luxury goods and they don´t come with built-in discounts. If you can´t afford the game, don´t play. And if your idea of a good time is spending a long time haggling pointlessly, go see the Looky-Looky guys on the beaches. Because I´m certainly not going to play in that mud bath, thank you very much.

To misquote the signs that you used to see in English grocer´s shops “Don´t ask for a discount as being told to bugger off may cause offence.”

Kisses

Ally x

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I Just Met Tony Stark

I have just met Tony Stark!

It all started when Tel said “I need to sell some shit” “Ok” I replied “I think I might be able to help.”

So early (for Ibiza – it was 10;30am) one Friday morning Alex our web guy and I went to visit Tel.

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Not Tel. Nor a client of mine. Dammit.

Alex is pretty handy with a camera as he takes most of the photos of our lovely ladies here in Ibiza and he knows his way around technology, the internet etc etc etc.  So he seemed like the right chap to take along to meet Tel who “wanted to sell some shit.” The basic plan being to dig around in Tel’s basement and storage unit come up with some random stuff to sell and put it on eBay and see what happened.

So at 10:30 on the dot Tel pulls up outside the apartment here and Alex and I hop into his car.  Now, I should have had some inkling that this might become something less than ordinary as Tel pulls on to the carretera at break-neck speed my tummy flipped and we raced “warp speed” really quite quickly.  As Alex and I hang onto the seats fearing for our lives, Tel chats away without a care in the world about his past as cars, buses, lorries fall behind us and become nothing more than a blur in the rear view mirror.

After what feels like a few seconds and hundreds of kilometres we arrive at Tel’s pad in the hills. “I built this myself” he says as he jumps from the car to unlock the gate. Alex and I stagger legs shaking to the front door grasping at any means of support possible.

It’s a tidy little house looking out over the Med with 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms and lots of mysterious other little rooms … we are about to find out why.  “I once built one with 18 bedrooms and 18 bathrooms” he says.

“Why so few?” I ask sarcastically as we step into the cool interior of the house.  A warm smell of wood smoke greets us from the hearth that has recently been cleared from last night’s fire. He takes my question seriously.

“Oh, I wasn’t doing too many projects at the time and just couldn’t put the time into it.” OK …

“So,” Tel says, “I will show you round. But how about we go down into the basement first and Alex can start to take some pictures of the stuff I have to sell” he says.

He opens what I have to say looked like a nondescript door under the stairs…and we step down a very wide spiral staircase into the basement.  “I have another basement under this one but you won’t want to look in there yet.” he quips. 

The first thing we notice as we get to the bottom of the stairs is a store room just full of interesting old bits of technology. TVs, headphones, remote controls cables.  It’s a little eerie as it’s like each of these items has been picked clean by some large predator that has taken the good bits and left the useless carcass behind. “Through here” says Tel. Why does he have this strangely jovial voice suddenly?

Before I go any further let me describe Tel.

He is a gentleman in his middle years, fit healthy very well presented at all times. He is interested and interesting and if I had to liken him to a cartoon character I would have to say it would be Tigger from Winnie the Poo.  He is very enthusiastic about everything and does not seem to have an “off button.” But not that different from lots of other people. He’s been a regular visitor with my girls for a couple of years and is always lovely.

We step through an adjoining door and holy shit!

That’s it. We are in Tony Stark’s workshop. OMG. I swear I heard a clicking noise as Alex’s jaw dropped.

“Yep. I built this stuff” he says.

iron_man_workshop

Like this. But cooler.

He has a bench of stuff in development, but as you enter the room you see a three screen holy-shit racing simulator.  Full racing seat, steering wheel, computer module and hydraulics. This isn’t a seat attached to a PlayStation. This is the real deal.

Showing my age, I think that ORAC will communicate with me any time now.

“My friend and I built this. It connects to any real car or racing track in the world by telemetry so you can actually race on the same virtual course as your favourite formula 1 driver at the same time in the same spec of car. Or different ones if you like. So if you had the telemetry connection to Lewis Hamilton you could race him in real time. Or a bunch of you from different parts of the world can just have a track day without flying.

Holy shit.

“Oh I have another better one that I might finish soon” he says.

Alex can’t wait to try it out so after a few minutes and a through briefing from Tel, Alex gets into the hot seat and straps himself in (yes you need the straps!) Obviously like everything it’s harder than it looks but he soon gets the hang of it and another racing addict is born.  He and Tel chat away about the technology involved whilst I just marvel at the virtual racing world.

Like this. But with techy stuff.

The whole basement is a feast of technology and mechanical projects some finished and some never to be finished. A boy toy Aladdin’s cave!

“Ah hum“ I clear my throat.  “Chaps, I hate to be a party pooper but we have some shit to sell I believe?”

“OK” says Tel “But first let me show you…”

And off we go again through the myriad of basement rooms to an external drive-way and like a magician Tel throws back a tarpaulin to reveal a vintage Alfa Romeo car. “I rebuilt it myself” he says…

I manage to get them to focus and Tel digs into this magnificent man cave and produces all sorts of bit of techno stuff he would like to sell. Some of it still new and in its original packaging, some of it ready to be stripped down for components. Alex set up the camera and starts to take some pictures.

“I like cool stuff but I’m not good at clearing out or selling stuff“ Tel says. “So if you can help, that would be great.”

While Alex takes a few snaps, Tel shows me the rest of the house. He has separate studies for different projects. So building project study, technology projects study, car projects study. The garage is fully of bikes (motor and pedal) and so it goes on…

“Tigger” and I have coffee while Alex continues to take pictures and we chat through some of his latest projects. His racing plans in the real world and how to change the world… just like Tony Stark.

Tel’s an interesting chap with big idea and big plans, some of which work well and some of which work less well but the world needs entrepreneurs like Tel to make things happen and keep thing interesting.

Welcome to Ibiza. You never know who you’ll meet or what their story is.

As for selling the shit, Alex started out to sell a scooter, a high-end projector and video camera and other assorted top end but out of date technology. The he had another look at some of the photos and spotted the hardware stuffed in the corner. It’s only a few hundred old PCs waiting to be stripped down. The glee on a young techy’s face is a joy to behold.

I will let you know how we get on.

Oh and by the way, as Alex and I left, Tel mentioned that he had a storage unit full of stuff in development as well. And next time he’ll show us the really interesting stuff in the sub-basement. (I’m hoping it’s not sex slaves or anything! LOL)

When does he get the time?

Kisses

Ally X

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I Sell Sex

I live outside of society and I feel I should revel in this!

What is society anyway? A group of rules; a construct, to which most people conform in order to live a life that others in a similar social group can understand. And a set of “rules” that are commonly adhered to.

Each individual society may have slightly differing viewpoints, but most have common themes that we all mostly respect and understand.  Things such as murder and theft are wrong and the support of family and friends are good, for example.

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Sexuality & beauty made her a Princess

There have always been sub groups of any society that challenge the norm, have slightly different values and may express themselves in different ways through things such as music, dress, sport or educational levels. It has become such a recognised feature in the past few decades that business and the media (are they different things?) identify and label these “tribes” in order to sell merchandise and develop markets such as fashion, new technologies. etc.

I’m not saying that it’s bad. I’m a businesswoman after all! But since Hollywood invented the teenager in the 50s it has become increasingly important to people to know where they fit within their group and within society. What label people identify with (in all senses for you fashionistas out there – oops, another tribe!) has perhaps come to replace the class system, butlers may not be above footmen anymore, but geeks see themselves above jocks and vice versa.

Churchgoers see themselves as a separate group from secular groups, southerners from northerners, capitalists from the Occupy movement, the list is seemingly endless.

But in order to identify as part of a group, there are criteria that have to apply to rule you in or out. You become “we” by following the dress code, having the same stated attitudes and beliefs, behaving in the same way, as the other people in your group. The same applies to society as a whole.

This set of rules and behaviours is then assumed to be universal and judgements passed on other based on that. Americans and Brits are often shocked by the continental European attitude to sex, while continental Europeans are often disgusted by alcohol fueled American and British behaviour and sexual debauchery. And it’s just as well neither of them look too much at the Japanese sexual scene!

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Sex appeal made her an icon

This is a vast topic and one in which I only  have my own opinions. In no way am I an expert  and I don’t really want to be. That’s why I left my academic career behind me! However, it helps to set the scene for when I make the following statement.

I live outside my society and revel in it!

I have no shame about the job I do or the type of business that I run.  Far from it, I see it as much the same as any other service industry; client and provider need and fulfilment. Good customer service and supplier relationships are key to what is effect a “time rental business.”

However, the “normal” society that most of us live in today in the western world is based upon Christian philosophies which includes rules that suggest how people should run their sexual lives with long term or even lifetime monogamy being the “ideal” option. Few people realise that this is actually a construct that only came about in the very late 19th and early 20th centuries.

Of course modern families and their values are very much changed even from as little as 50 years ago. I should say at this point I am a traditional girl from a middle class family who wholeheartedly understands and advocates most of the traditional values that are still common today. Thrift, hard work, telling the truth, being good to people and kind to animals. That sort of thing.

However, and I suppose it is a big however, I do not see what business it is of society how  you like to express yourself sexuallly, how often and with whom.

Things are changing as new ways of understanding sexuality continue to grow and change. People in their early twenties view sex and gender very differently from when I was young in the 1970s.  Yes I am that old…get over it!

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The perfect role model for women everywhere?

So maybe the wider society’s view of selling sexuality directly may change in the foreseeable future. It’s hard to see how it couldn’t when mainstream cultural icons behave more like whores than real whores do!

I am a purveyor of sexual services. Shocking I know!

Of course, legally, I do only arrange for clients to meet providers and then what happens between them is up to them. But lets be honest, it’s all about the “birds and the bees, boy meet girl” etc.  I am sure you get the gist. So to be factual I provide the opportunity for sex to occur between consenting adults. Again I know this must be very shocking for some of you. Though the title of the blog and the article might have given you a clue. Again I say get over it!

I love my job. It’s great to see a happy client  who has had his needs fulfilled and a happy girl who can provide for her family through sex work.  I love and respect all of my ladies I think that they are amazing and do a fantastic job.  I also like 90 percent of my clients who are just “joe public” with an “itch to scratch”. No different to a restaurant providing the best food they can to hungry people.

As in any business I do sometimes have clients who want some services we just do not offer and clients who are also rude and obnoxious. But that’s the same anywhere. I actually used to get more hassle and abuse when running a head-hunting firm than I do now!

Also, don’t get me wrong, much as I respect all of the ladies who continue to work with me they are not all “little angels” and, yes some time I do feel like I am herding cats! But that’s the same with any range of suppliers and contractors.

So if I love my job so much why do I not shout from the roof tops what it is I do for a living?

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Her billionaire husband was obviously first attracted by her personality

Before I explain here, I just want to add a note that its not because I am some crazed drug dealer, people trafficker or someone so on the edge of society that I would not be understood.  It’s definitely none of the above. Hell, I even pay my taxes and am kind to animals and children!

I love what I do, I provide a good service and have happy a “everyone” around me.  However, if I were to be open about the fact that I run an escort agency it’s not only me that would be judged.  By association, my sassy sexy ladies would be outed. Clients would not feel safe for the same reason and it would certainly be harder to meet them socially. They would  fear that through association with me “society” and of course family and friends would judge what they do. The same is true for my friends in Marbella and London too. It’s not just here in Ibiza.

So you tell me, how stupid is this? I have beautiful friends who make a living by offering companionship and, yes, sex. They have families, husbands boyfriends children and pets just like you and me. I have clients who come to us because they feel safe and understood.  And they have wives and girlfriends (sometimes both!), jobs, families and car loans and they shop in supermarkets just like everyone else. Are they not part of society? In fact, given the numbers of people involved and the mix of professions and social classes, aren’t they actually a large part of society?

If we are so far out of society where do my ladies and clients come from?  The simple answer is that both prostitutes and clients are just like everyone else. You could be sat on the bus next to a working girl and never know. Or chatting with a dad in a playground who an hour before had been entertained to within an inch of his life by a beautiful lady. The stereotypes portrayed by TV and hollywood could not be further from the truth. It’s not all drugs and street corners. But nor is it champagne and Lear jets!

So in terms of broadcasting what I do and who I am, of course  I do not want anyone to get hurt unnecessarily but your secrets are yours to keep.  We should not be judged because we are party to them.

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One of these is a successful businessperson. One should apparently be ashamed

Who is this society who can judge us so harshly? Are we not simply judging ourselves? Is it because of our own shame that people involved and otherwise are so desperate to cast the first stone?

Are men ashamed of the power that their sex drive and their need for women that they denigrate those who trade on their charm and sexuality?

Are women ashamed of the fact that they have the worrying niggle in the back of their heads about “there but for the grace of god…”? Or do they fear that the women in the business have sex appeal that they don’t? So they get their retaliation in first by denigrating sex workers?

And by the way, “there but for the grace of god…” in many cases is independence, financial security and an amazing lifestyle. So keep your preconceptions to yourself!

So I do revel in what I do. I have no shame about it. If you have any on my behalf then it’s down to your values not mine.

I do revel in the the night-time pursuits and the naughtiness of it all.  I revel in the slightly seedy nature of it and the knowing of the secret pastimes that people indulge in. The nudge nudge wink wink of it all.  I revel in knowing so much more than I ever hoped about the human condition and its need for sex. I revel in the naughty lingerie and the secret sex toys that are stored in cupboards and bags ready for action.  The sites sounds and smells of the sex trade are all familiar to me and I revel in them all.

One final note; I have to say that some of the most well balanced, well maintained and trustworthy people I have ever met work in this business and I proud to know all of them.  Yes, I revel in what I do and hope that I can continue to do so for a very long time to come.

So I will continue to keep my secrets so that you can keep yours.

Kisses

Ally x

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