Sex Appeal & Beauty

What is it that makes a woman sexy? Artists, writers and poets through the years have spent their lives trying to encapsulate the mystery of feminine allure. Scientists have entered the fray too, measuring, counting and assessing. But the secret of allure is still “unbottled”.

Audrey Hepburn - beautiful. Not sexy

Audrey Hepburn – beautiful. Not sexy

True, there are a lot of insights into beauty. Artists capture it and scientists can measure and predict it. Much of what they are now codifying was actually extremely well known to the ancient Greek writers in particular. Proportion, symmetry and social conditioning are all critically important to the perception of beauty. Some of them are timeless and some reflect social trends.

Take body fat or curviness. Peter Paul Rubens curvaceous ladies could not be more different in terms of muscle tone and sheer ampleness from the Venus in her clam shell of Sandro Botticelli, or the dancers of Henri Toulouse-Lautrec´s ballet dancers, or Titian´s Leda, or today’s Victoria’s Secret models. But the proportions of their limbs and bodies are the same, and they exhibit the same symmetrical faces.

Kelly Brook. Sexy.

Kelly Brook. Sexy.

So beauty can be articulated, measured, quantified and predicted. The best plastic surgeons in the world can, within limits, produce it. For both men and women, incidentally.

But sex appeal? That is something different. It too is largely timeless, but the mix that makes a woman (or man) irresistibly sexy doesn’t seem to lend itself to the same kind of formulas and rules that beauty does. There is no golden mean that tells us why or how, or predicts who.

As I have previously explained, I spend my entire time surrounded by beautiful and sexy women. (It’s a hard life…) And believe me, not all of them are both sexy and beautiful. Many are both, but not all.

audrey hepburn and emilia clarke both as holly golightly from breakfast at tiffany's

Hepburn. Beautiful. Emilia Clarke. Beautiful and sexy.

Beauty can exist without sex appeal. Look at the Greek statues of athletes. Gorgeous, beautiful, inspiring. But not sexy compared to the old and has never-been-in-shape Jack Nicholson.

Take two great British actresses from the 1960s. Julie Andrews and Jaqueline Bisset. Ms Andrews was slim, beautiful, polished and had curves in all the right places. Not sexy. Ms Bisset had many of the same attributes but with a charmingly damaged smile. And was sex on legs. Still is, in fact! She is the star of many a MILF fantasy even now.

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The sexiest woman in history?

Or modern actresses show this equally well. Jennifer Lawrence and Kristen Stewart. One is sexy and sensual. The other is pretty and has a good body but doesn’t have the secret sauce. There is some subtle difference between beauty and sex appeal.

Sex appeal sometimes doesn’t even require beauty.  If you take a look at a photo of Mata Hari she was far from being a great classical beauty. But her sex appeal is famous to this day. Marilyn Monroe would be considered overweight by today´s standards of beauty (how sad is that?!) but her sex appeal and sensuality still make the edges of the paper curl on her photos.

So I am going to spend a few posts doing my best to pin down what it is that makes sexy. I will obviously mainly focus on sexy women.  But I will also spend a little time on the sexy men too! It seems rude not to.

Kisses

Ally x

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sexy geek in glasses and lace top

What Is It With Some People?

Why is it that some people, who perfectly accept happily the price that designer shops show on the label and who wouldn’t dream of haggling in a restaurant think that it is perfectly fine to try and bid down the fees for a professional escort?

This came to a head in textbook style this weekend in Ibiza. We have a client who is generally lovely when on a booking. He sees the ladies in a lovely penthouse, spends three hours a time with them and they have a super time sunbathing, drinking wine and generally relaxing. He is polite and respectful, pleasant and well turned out. A wonderful time is had by all.

The problem is what happens between bookings. Maybe it´s the fact that he is Norwegian, which adds an extra spice to all his dealings with escorts as it is illegal for any Norwegian citizen to pay for sex anywhere in the world (not that he is doing that with our ladies, we only sell time and companionship…). Anyway, shagging the brains out of girls he meets through us is extra exciting because he knows he is breaking the law.

And that extends to his dealings with us in deciding who to see and trying to negotiate fees. He just doesn´t get a simple rule that we live by; the price is the price. We don´t negotiate on rates. That way madness lies. The only exception is when the booking is very unusual and standard rates wwouldn’t cover it. (Don´t ask!) And this client´s bookings certainly don´t come under that category.

So the preface to every booking with this client is a lengthy WhatsApp discussion about who is available (fair enough) and their respective fees (also fair enough). He then decides to tell us what he is willing to pay.

“Alana and Melissa. I will pay 1,000 for 3 hours. No taxi fee.”

“No. The rate is 1,400 plus 50 taxi.”

“This is an afternoon booking midweek so there won´t be much else happening. Something is better than nothing. 1,000 Euros for 3 hours.”

“No. The rate is 1,400 plus 50 taxi.”

“But you list Melissa as 165 cms and I know she is only 164 cms tall. So I will pay 1,000 Euros for both.”

“No. The rate is 1,400 plus 50 taxi.”

“Well the 1,000 is still on the table. Let me know when you change your mind.”

We then ignore him for a few days and he comes back.

“How much just for Alana?”

“700 Euros plus taxi.”

“And for Melissa?”

“700 Euros plus taxi.”

“So if I book both, you will give me a discount to make it 1,000 Euros and no taxi.”

Now what I want to write is unrepeatable. So I instead say

“No. The rate is 1,400 plus 50 taxi.”

I have tried to explain that the girls are independent contractors who set their own rates and that I am their agent not the employer. But he seems convinced that I can somehow offer him a massive discount on each person´s rates. As though we were dealing with tins of beans rather than people´s time.

Now the interesting thing here is that this client is actually a high-end real estate agent who deals

mainly with summer rentals to the super-rich. Villas at 50,000 Euros a week. That sort of thing. I contacted him once to enquire about a villa and then asked him for a discount because I was going to rent two villas from two different owners and use them at the same time. He was surprisingly unamused.

Anyhow, with this client I´m now reasonable sanguine as he always ends up booking the original girls we discuss and at the original price. But his behaviour is all too typical of a certain type of client.

And it´s bloody annoying to deal with and insulting to the ladies concerned.

Don´t get me wrong, if someone calls and says they’ve taken everything they can out of the cash machine and their friends won´t be returning for hours to borrow from, I will do what I can to help for a few Euros if I believe that they are genuine.

But when someone who wouldn’t dream of haggling as they check in to the Hard Rock hotel decides that the 5 star ladies who work with me are fair game, then my heckles rise!

Luxury goods are luxury goods and they don´t come with built-in discounts. If you can´t afford the game, don´t play. And if your idea of a good time is spending a long time haggling pointlessly, go see the Looky-Looky guys on the beaches. Because I´m certainly not going to play in that mud bath, thank you very much.

To misquote the signs that you used to see in English grocer´s shops “Don´t ask for a discount as being told to bugger off may cause offence.”

Kisses

Ally x

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I Just Met Tony Stark

I have just met Tony Stark!

It all started when Tel said “I need to sell some shit” “Ok” I replied “I think I might be able to help.”

So early (for Ibiza – it was 10;30am) one Friday morning Alex our web guy and I went to visit Tel.

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Not Tel. Nor a client of mine. Dammit.

Alex is pretty handy with a camera as he takes most of the photos of our lovely ladies here in Ibiza and he knows his way around technology, the internet etc etc etc.  So he seemed like the right chap to take along to meet Tel who “wanted to sell some shit.” The basic plan being to dig around in Tel’s basement and storage unit come up with some random stuff to sell and put it on eBay and see what happened.

So at 10:30 on the dot Tel pulls up outside the apartment here and Alex and I hop into his car.  Now, I should have had some inkling that this might become something less than ordinary as Tel pulls on to the carretera at break-neck speed my tummy flipped and we raced “warp speed” really quite quickly.  As Alex and I hang onto the seats fearing for our lives, Tel chats away without a care in the world about his past as cars, buses, lorries fall behind us and become nothing more than a blur in the rear view mirror.

After what feels like a few seconds and hundreds of kilometres we arrive at Tel’s pad in the hills. “I built this myself” he says as he jumps from the car to unlock the gate. Alex and I stagger legs shaking to the front door grasping at any means of support possible.

It’s a tidy little house looking out over the Med with 5 bedrooms, 5 bathrooms and lots of mysterious other little rooms … we are about to find out why.  “I once built one with 18 bedrooms and 18 bathrooms” he says.

“Why so few?” I ask sarcastically as we step into the cool interior of the house.  A warm smell of wood smoke greets us from the hearth that has recently been cleared from last night’s fire. He takes my question seriously.

“Oh, I wasn’t doing too many projects at the time and just couldn’t put the time into it.” OK …

“So,” Tel says, “I will show you round. But how about we go down into the basement first and Alex can start to take some pictures of the stuff I have to sell” he says.

He opens what I have to say looked like a nondescript door under the stairs…and we step down a very wide spiral staircase into the basement.  “I have another basement under this one but you won’t want to look in there yet.” he quips. 

The first thing we notice as we get to the bottom of the stairs is a store room just full of interesting old bits of technology. TVs, headphones, remote controls cables.  It’s a little eerie as it’s like each of these items has been picked clean by some large predator that has taken the good bits and left the useless carcass behind. “Through here” says Tel. Why does he have this strangely jovial voice suddenly?

Before I go any further let me describe Tel.

He is a gentleman in his middle years, fit healthy very well presented at all times. He is interested and interesting and if I had to liken him to a cartoon character I would have to say it would be Tigger from Winnie the Poo.  He is very enthusiastic about everything and does not seem to have an “off button.” But not that different from lots of other people. He’s been a regular visitor with my girls for a couple of years and is always lovely.

We step through an adjoining door and holy shit!

That’s it. We are in Tony Stark’s workshop. OMG. I swear I heard a clicking noise as Alex’s jaw dropped.

“Yep. I built this stuff” he says.

iron_man_workshop

Like this. But cooler.

He has a bench of stuff in development, but as you enter the room you see a three screen holy-shit racing simulator.  Full racing seat, steering wheel, computer module and hydraulics. This isn’t a seat attached to a PlayStation. This is the real deal.

Showing my age, I think that ORAC will communicate with me any time now.

“My friend and I built this. It connects to any real car or racing track in the world by telemetry so you can actually race on the same virtual course as your favourite formula 1 driver at the same time in the same spec of car. Or different ones if you like. So if you had the telemetry connection to Lewis Hamilton you could race him in real time. Or a bunch of you from different parts of the world can just have a track day without flying.

Holy shit.

“Oh I have another better one that I might finish soon” he says.

Alex can’t wait to try it out so after a few minutes and a through briefing from Tel, Alex gets into the hot seat and straps himself in (yes you need the straps!) Obviously like everything it’s harder than it looks but he soon gets the hang of it and another racing addict is born.  He and Tel chat away about the technology involved whilst I just marvel at the virtual racing world.

Like this. But with techy stuff.

The whole basement is a feast of technology and mechanical projects some finished and some never to be finished. A boy toy Aladdin’s cave!

“Ah hum“ I clear my throat.  “Chaps, I hate to be a party pooper but we have some shit to sell I believe?”

“OK” says Tel “But first let me show you…”

And off we go again through the myriad of basement rooms to an external drive-way and like a magician Tel throws back a tarpaulin to reveal a vintage Alfa Romeo car. “I rebuilt it myself” he says…

I manage to get them to focus and Tel digs into this magnificent man cave and produces all sorts of bit of techno stuff he would like to sell. Some of it still new and in its original packaging, some of it ready to be stripped down for components. Alex set up the camera and starts to take some pictures.

“I like cool stuff but I’m not good at clearing out or selling stuff“ Tel says. “So if you can help, that would be great.”

While Alex takes a few snaps, Tel shows me the rest of the house. He has separate studies for different projects. So building project study, technology projects study, car projects study. The garage is fully of bikes (motor and pedal) and so it goes on…

“Tigger” and I have coffee while Alex continues to take pictures and we chat through some of his latest projects. His racing plans in the real world and how to change the world… just like Tony Stark.

Tel’s an interesting chap with big idea and big plans, some of which work well and some of which work less well but the world needs entrepreneurs like Tel to make things happen and keep thing interesting.

Welcome to Ibiza. You never know who you’ll meet or what their story is.

As for selling the shit, Alex started out to sell a scooter, a high-end projector and video camera and other assorted top end but out of date technology. The he had another look at some of the photos and spotted the hardware stuffed in the corner. It’s only a few hundred old PCs waiting to be stripped down. The glee on a young techy’s face is a joy to behold.

I will let you know how we get on.

Oh and by the way, as Alex and I left, Tel mentioned that he had a storage unit full of stuff in development as well. And next time he’ll show us the really interesting stuff in the sub-basement. (I’m hoping it’s not sex slaves or anything! LOL)

When does he get the time?

Kisses

Ally X

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I love a professional

“Hi can I help?”

It was mid afternoon on Thursday. I was alone in the office as Alex had decided to go shopping for beauty creams and presents. I was hoping to have a lovely peaceful coffee and catch up on some paperwork. So I have to admit I chased her out of the door with a sunny wave saying “don’t rush back, see you soon”. Mistake. Big mistake!

So “Hi can I help” I said. The contact is Claudio who I have heard is a lovely Italian gentleman.

The best way to use a computer I think

The best way to use a computer I think

“Vorrei prenotare una ragazza per me e mia moglie oggi alle 18:00.” Ah.

“I’m sorry, I don’t speak Italian. Do you speak any English?” I asked. I know it’s rude and we are all European now but I am a product of 1960s comprehensive education.  So languages are not my big thing, though I can get by in Spanish.

“A leeteel” he said.

“ Fantastic how can I help?”

“Weeelll “ he said “eermm  vorrei prenotare una ragazza per me e mia moglie oggi alle 18:00”

OK not so good. I mean it doesn’t take a genius to work out that he wants to see a girl at 18:00 but where and for how long?  Let’s do the easy bit.

“Who would you like to see I ask?” We have lots of gorgeous ladies so it saves time to start by asking.

He replies almost instantly with “Angela”.  Now this would be cool but she hasn’t checked in with her availability today so I am not sure if she is working. Damn. “I need to find out and then I can confirm all of the details” I say, “That make sense?” I add.

A very empathic and enthusiastic “Si!” is his reply.

“OK. I will call you back.

“Quando?” he asks

Erm, a little help?

Erm, a little help?

“5 mins” I say.

“ Noooo” he says “18:00”

Not good.  “Ustedes hablan español?”

“Yes a little” he replies. Thank heavens! At least this I should be able to work out.

“Necesito confirmar con ella” (I need to check with her)

“Voy a verla a las 18:00 ( I will see her at 18:00)” he says.

Fuck Fuck Fuck this is not going to plan….

“OK I will text you” I say in my best garbled Spanish.

“Si Si” he says.

For the next few minutes Google translate becomes my new best friend as I try to communicate the details of the booking with him via text. Come back Alex! Alex speaks Italian and has dealt with him before.

I call her with a cry for help “ Please come back now and talk to Claudio!” I cry “I think he thinks Angela is turning up at 18:00 and she is not available and I don’t know how long for or where or what or anything!”

At least I thinks that’s what I said as it was all a little excited. For some reason I hate letting polite and nice clients down in any way. Arseholes give me no stress at all. But if someone is being sweet then my customer service gene kicks into overdrive.

sexy_stockings_on_vespa

The Italians do sexy very well.

She says she can be back in 15 mins.  Thank heavens. I tell Claudio that she will be back to talk to him soon.

Now I have to track down Angela. After a few calls and texts in turns out that she is in hospital with food poisoning.  Damn! Even I can’t bring myself to give her a hard time for not telling me. Though secretly I am a little miffed that I’m not the person she calls straight after her emergency contact.

The question then becomes who shall I recommend? Thank God Alex will be back to explain to him that Angela wont be able to make it.

When Alex is back she soothes the international relations and get the all of the details of the booking. I start to make the arrangements.

One of the nice things about running the best escort agency in Ibiza is that we have our choice of great escorts who fit just about every requirement.

Helena she is working today and is very good with languages, though unfortunately not Italian.  I call her to check availability and the details.  The conversation goes something like this:

“It’s a couple” I say. “OK” she says.

“They want total GFE for both of them” I say. “OK” she says.

” Its two hours” I say. “OK” she says.

“You have to arrive at 6pm” I say. “OK” she says.

”They only speak Italian” I say “OK” she says.

“Oh and they are both in their 70’s” I say. “OK. Any special requirements?” she says

“No” I say. “OK” she says.

I just love working with professionals! They make life so much easier.

Kisses

Ally x

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Not a lot of people know that …

The sex industry is right at the cutting edge of everything tech.

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Cameron Diaz. Hot but no geek.

When the Director and writers of the Cameron Diaz movie Sex Tape (which was awful) visited the offices of a few of the big porn sites they were astonished. They didn’t find sleezy pervs hanging round an old laptop as they seemed to expect. What they found were large modern businesses operating some of the largest servers outside Amazon and Google and run by some of the smartest technology experts to be found anywhere.

Which makes sense if you think about it.

The sex industry is huge. With escort agencies, phone lines, cam work and porn (with or without dating agencies thrown into the mix!) the industry in all it’s forms is both very large and extremely competitive.

Any cam or porn service that doesn’t have stable and quick servers will soon be out of business. No-one is willing to put up with delays or interrupted service anymore.

Any great escort agency, especially in big cities such as London or tourist centres like Ibiza, could not be in business without a great website. And that great website or service is useless unless your search engine optimisation (SEO) means that you rank high enough on Google, Bing and Yahoo for people to find you in the first place!

The days of putting cards into telephone boxes are long past. Even here in Spain where advertising as an escort is legal (a friend of ours in Marbella has actually rented a large electronic billboard!) the vast majority of business is generated by prospective clients finding the website.

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Not how our SEO team look

These days you can have the greatest talent in the world but if you can’t work out how Google ranks pages, then you’re screwed. And not in the good way!

All of which means that the single most valuable person in our team is not a 25 year old Playboy model, or a Miss World contestant with a PhD, or even a famous pornstar. It’s the 19 year old guy with a ponytail who plays games on one screen while running our websites on the other two. I know that sounds like a cliche, but I’m watching him do it right now.

And our greatest set of expenses is not lingerie, shoes, travel or even security. It’s geeks and their kit. Which is fine by me, because above the Louboutins and underneath the La Perla sits a woman who’s nerdy about being a geek.

Because they may be in charge of your sex life

Because they may be in charge of your sex life

Every escort agency wants to be on the first page of Google for the relevant searches. But we rather take it for granted now that if we launch a website it will be page one within 90 days. Yes, the team really is that good! Our latest Ibiza escort agency just hit 4th on Google in 73 days from launch.

But the difference in enquiries (and therefore business) between being in the bottom three on page one and being in the top three is nearly 500%. So if you want to be really successful in the sex business, you need to devote time, focus and a lot of intellectual firepower. It isn’t something you can just throw money at, as most of the businesses who claim to offer web design and SEO services are worse than useless.

If you pick the wrong firm you can find yourself with a useless website that is optimised for completely the wrong search terms, or none at all. A friend of ours in London is very proud that she has the top ranked site for her supposed niche. Unfortunately her niche is only searched for less than 200 times a month. And most of those searches come from the Far East, and it yields her no business at all. Lovely looking site though.

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It’s terrible when the phone doesn’t ring

There are lots of tools that allow you to check on the popularity of search terms, but before you do that you have to put yourself in the mind of your clients. What are they really looking for and how will they phrase it in a search? Get it right and you can open the keys to the promised land. get it wrong and you don’t have a business.

If you choose an SEO company unwisely it can do permanent damage to your business. Beware if you try to use money to game the system and have someone buy backlinks to drive your Google ranking. You are likely to come a terrible cropper. You can even find your site “sandboxed” by Google and excluded from search rankings completely.

And I haven’t even begun discussing social media, which can be used as anything from a simple advertising medium for the website to a terrific way of engaging with clients. And with the right techniques (which I’m not going into here!) it can also be a significant revenue earner in its own right.

When you want to get really lost in the maze of possibility, cloud computing and smart phones can allow you to share photos, take and place bookings, run diaries and basically operate an entire business from a small handbag. Which suits me fine.

So the next time you hear anyone talking about how geeks and nerds rule the world, remember that they also run the sex industry as well. Which means that not only do they know stuff that you don’t, they probably make more money and get more honey too!

Kisses

Ally x

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Do Attitudes Really Change?

Dr Brooke Magnanti is currently defending herself against a libel suit. She is defending herself by having to prove that she was a prostitute. Interesting that having been a professional sex worker could work to her legal benefit!

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Belles du Jour – Dr Brooke Magnanti & Billie Piper

Dr Magnanti is better known to the world under her nom de plume (nom de guerre?) Belle du Jour. She wrote an anonymous blog about her life as a London escort from 2003. It became a top ten best-selling book and successful TV series starring Billie Piper under the name Secret Diary of a Call Girl. (BTW it’s really funny and I like it a lot)

She wrote the blog under a pseudonym because of the negative reaction she expected. When her name finally became public in 2009, along with the fact that she became an escort to fund her PhD studies, there was, indeed, a furore.

But, maybe because her “coming out” was linked to a TV show, there was also a lot of positive publicity and coverage for her. Journalists hunted for muck to rake and found some pretty unusual stuff about her upbringing. But after someone has proudly fronted up about being a hooker, there’s not a lot more you can throw at them.

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Billie Piper as Belle du Jour

And that is when it becomes interesting. Maybe because she had got the story out first and in excruciating detail through her blog. Perhaps because she is articulate and attractive (as well as apparently being incredibly prickly and happy to pick a fight!). Or possibly she is a bellwether that social norms are changing.

But now, as a columnist for the Telegraph (!) occasional TV personality and TED speaker  she has become the acceptable face of my profession. To the point where her aggressive defence against a libel case by her ex lover Owen Morris, has the public and press responding in an interesting way.

Mr Morris claims that she effectively “made up” her life as an escort and did not work in the sex industry as she claims. He then says that when he was “outed” at the same time as her, Dr Magnanti’s blog and books effectively destroyed his career and made him unemployable.

Leave aside the fact that Dr Magnanti herself is now married and has a perfectly good career. But the fact that a woman can now defend herself by citing her work as a prostitute in a positive light is interesting. Only ten years ago Belle du Jour would have been burned at the stake. But now Brooke Magnanti is almost a heroine for women’s rights and Mr Morris looks slightly outdated in his aggressively negative views and beliefs about the sex trade and people’s attitudes to it.

Have the views of society changed that much? Can women now do what they want with their bodies and make careers doing so without public shame? Absolutely not. Would our Ibiza escorts be received in the same positive light by their friends, family and society if they were outed? Certainly not! That’s why so many choose to have their public profiles pixellated on our website.

Dr Magnanti is unusual in her positive public profile. But are attitudes slowly moving in the right direction? The tenor of this case seems to suggest so.

Let’s see how the publicity plays out as the case continues. As a final aside, I wouldn’t fancy taking her forensic intellect and personality on in court!

Kisses

Ally x

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escort ibiza

The Girlfriend Experience

Imagine the perfect girl on the perfect date. A man meets the lady of his dreams in a bar or cafe and she takes his breath away as she walks in.

She is sensual, classy, sexy as hell. Dressed perfectly for the occasion and giving him the sense that she will undress perfectly too. Every man wants her, but she is with him and only has eyes for him. She is charming and funny, glamorous and approachable, she is a Sex Goddess, girlfriend and she is his for tonight, delighted to do whatever he wants, how he wants, for as long as he wants.

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If that sounds sexy and fun, then maybe you can understand why men book a Girlfriend Experience (GFE) with a Ibiza escort.

The ideal date might look like the girl next door, a business executive, an international model, or she might look like she has walked straight off a porn shoot! Whatever the ideal girlfriend for the perfect date, we can make that fantasy reality with one of our Ibiza escorts.

Many of our Guests are looking for a longer and more social experience with our gorgeous courtesans. They want to be able to talk and laugh, have dinner and drinks and enjoy a more rounded experience. Let’s face it, it’s also nice to show off around town with one of the most beautiful and sexy women in the world on your arm!

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That is where the GFE comes in. The Ibiza escort of their choice meets them and is in every sense the client’s girlfriend for the length of the date – whether that is three hours for dinner, overnight, or even longer. Some of our Guests travel the world with their Ibiza Escort and attend business and social events with them.

Why would a man want a paid Escort in Ibiza instead of a girlfriend? There are so many different answers to that question! Contrary to the myth, most of our Guests are handsome and charming. Certainly more so than many men we meet socially. And they are certainly solvent or they couldn’t afford our girls! So it isn’t that they can’t find a woman.

Some men like the simplicity of being able to “end it” whenever they like with no emotional baggage. Others simply don’t have time to find a traditional girlfriend, or don’t want the emotional entanglement that comes with that relationship. And there is always the factor that, unlike a “traditional” girlfriend, an Escort in Ibiza is always “on”.

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She doesn’t get moody, she doesn’t understand the term “can’t be bothered” and she’s never too tired. She might not laugh at that especially bad joke, but she won’t give him a hard time about it either! And those little things that make all the difference – designer lingerie, stockings, the perfect heels, the sexy little games and role plays – are all part of the service. The perfect girlfriend, in all ways, all the time.

To put it simply, the GFE gives a man all the fun and fulfilment of dating one of the most sexy women in Ibiza – which, let’s face it, is a high bar – but without the bullshit.

Kisses

Ally x

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